My Girlfriend [28F] And I [29M] Haven’t Had Sex In Almost Two Years And I Can’t Go On. What Do I Do?

She has a condition that makes sex painful that flairs up every few years and it’s pretty much decided to resurface the entire time we’ve been together. I love her dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with her but I’m scared. I feel selfish but it has been more and more difficult for me as time has gone on. She feels bad about it but it just makes me feel so unattractive and undesired.

I feel selfish, but sex is so important to me in a relationship. On top of that she has some intimacy issues that stem from trauma. I feel like such an asshole because it shouldn’t be everything in a relationship but it’s important to me. I’ve loved her for a very long time but we’ve only been together for two years. In that time I can count on one hand the times we’ve had sex. On top of that she doesn’t really compensate in other ways to bring sexual intimacy in our relationship and it makes me feel I wanted and like a chore. Honestly even when she kisses me sometimes it feels like she’s doing me a favor.

She got really upset one night (not at me) because I vented to her about it and she was crying and saying how she just didn’t want me to end up resenting her. Of course I said I could never and it was true but the more I thought about it, the more I’m starting to. I’m starting to resent little things about her and I’m be become insecure and sad. It honestly makes all her flaws, my flaws, and the flaws in our relationship stand out. I feel starved in every way and it feels at times that she doesn’t care. I don’t know what to do but I feel so empty and self centered it feels like nothing I do to comfort her or be there works and I just feel like I’m not getting what I need. We were best friends and the reason I didn’t any to date her is because I didn’t want a failed relationship to ruin things for us. I seriously just want to give up and die.

On top of that I’m an addict and recovery and have been sober for four months but the more this eats away at my heart, the more I just want to give up and relapse or just end it all. I feel completely alone and undesirable as fuck.

TL;DR My girlfriend and I haven’t had sex in two years and I feel like giving up.

Submitted January 28, 2022 at 09:55PM by BambooBrady https://bit.ly/3G5mkAk