Wife (43F) wants to get a divorce out of nowhere after a cancer scare. I (44M) think this is rooted in deeper issues but she refuses to admit it.

My wife had a cancer scare which lasted way longer than it had to. Then, to top it all off, she got covid, before the cancer scare was confirmed to be nothing. She got covid, bad, which just confirmed the idea in her mind that she had cancer, because she thought that her having a bad case of covid meant that she had to be sick from cancer. During this time, she was just absolutely frantic and neurotic. Convinced of her own mortality, she turned into a pretty nasty person, and I was nothing but supportive, because... well, I also thought she might have cancer. But I am not going to lie, it hurt. The way she treated me.

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When the cancer scare turned out to be nothing and her covid went away, she was physically fine, but mentally she remained a mess. She was like a totally different person. We have a 4 year old daughter for context, and she even treated her differently. I knew something was up. Just... mentally.

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Recently, she had been recovering, and turning back to normal seemingly over the months. And then she just hit me with wanting a divorce. Out of nowhere. She said that she realized after her cancer scare that she wanted more from life than being a wife. But... she is not some housebound housewife. She has a huge amount of friends, a career, we travel all the time, we've had an amazing relationship... I am just not sure what she thought she wants. I mean, honestly, she has an unbelievably privileged life. It broke my heart a bit to hear her say the things she said about her life. I know that she can feel the way she wants to about her own life, but I feel like I have just been so supportive of her career and mostly taken care of our kid while she lives her own life... and for her to tell me she still feels this way just feels really... idk, disrespectful? I paid for her university, I helped her career, I am mostly a stay at home dad even while financially helping her, and she still says these things, that I am not enough?

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I was very confused, but I talked to her sister, who is almost ALWAYS on her side, and even her sister said to me in private that she is coming off a bit delusional and deranged. Like, not just upset, but mentally unwell, not thinking rational thoughts. I knew something was wrong before then, but her sister, of all people, talking to me privately like that, really confirmed it in my head.

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I told her, please go to therapy. Something. And she just refused. I am not sure what to do at all. I feel totally broken by this, like something has taken over my soulmate and taken her away from me. What do I do?

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TL;DR - - wife had a cancer scare, and then covid, and then after now she wants a divorce out of nowhere, and I am not sure what to do.

Submitted January 18, 2022 at 01:15AM by lkioirunty765 https://ift.tt/3GJTE0T