I (28F) tried to express my concern to my partner (31M) about the amount of money we have been spending on weed. It didn't go well.

I tried so hard to be calm, reasonable and diplomatic about this. I tried SO hard. I really and truly did.

I said it exactly like this: "I'm deeply concerned about the amount of money we have been spending on weed, and I feel we really need to cut back. I went through the numbers and I was very alarmed. In the span of three weeks, we spent almost 500$ at the dispensary."

We're not in good financial straits right now and are really, really struggling, FYI. Also, I am pregnant and have not been using myself. Today I wanted to buy some strawberries and he got upset and objected because it was 11$ for a box, because, apparently we don't have the money right now.

As I was afraid he would, he got really, really defensive and upset. "Yeah, about 130$ a week, that's my normal. I've been cutting back! I cut out a whole bunch of other things! I don't drink or smoke cigarettes! Now you're telling me I need to cut back on the one thing I enjoy doing?"

Then: "It's in the past! There's nothing we can do! Just forget about it!"

I immediately backed down and apologized and said I shouldn't have said anything, because, clearly, it was a bad idea. I said I was not trying to criticize or attack him in any way, and I'm really not. I know he enjoys weed and I am not trying to take that away from him.

I just want to cry. I feel so bad now for saying anything. Every time I try to talk about something I'm upset or worried about, he just gets really upset with me it seems.

...I don't understand what I do so wrong. I'm trying so, so hard...

How do I always screw this up so badly?

TL;DR I tried to talk to him about the money we've been spending on weed cordially. It didn't go well and now I feel horrible and don't know how to fix this.

Submitted January 25, 2022 at 08:02PM by hazhulkha https://ift.tt/3tWA7qx