My partner (39M) and I (38F) have been together for 3 years and living together for 2 in the house he was renting prior to meeting me. Our landlord has made it clear that he wants to sell the house and that we will need to move by spring/summer. We both agree that the smartest move would be to purchase a home since rentals that meet our desired criteria are expensive and he is making a decent salary at this point and we would like to own a property.
The biggest hurdle for this financially is the down payment - neither of us has that kind of savings right now. His parents have offered to help with the down payment, with a caveat - they do not believe in "living in sin" and would not help with the payment knowing we live there together. Come to find out that his parents don't know that we have been living together at all (I haven't met them, they live out of state and are not close to my partner. He describes them as crazy religious types.)
I am not happy with this. Buying a house with someone is a relationship goal for me. My partner says it's more of a housing matter for him. He has pre-qualified for a loan and wants to move forward with purchasing a house and for me to help pick it out and move in. His plan is to be the sole title holder and not tell him parents that I'm living there, perhaps eventually adding me to the title. He says it will be "our" house, but legally that will not be true. My income does not qualify for a large enough loan to finance a house by itself. I feel really unhappy and insecure with the idea of him being the sole owner while I contribute to his equity and have nothing to show for it, especially knowing our cohabitation is a secret from his parents. Additionally, our options to buy are limited and we are looking at a fixer, which would require more investment that I may never get back if things don't work out. I want to build a home together, but I feel like this arrangement isn't fair to me. On an emotional level I feel like he is moving forward without me. I want to buy a home together, not pretend that we are. :(
TLDR: my boyfriend wants to purchase a house as the sole title holder - I feel like the arrangement isn't fair and that he is moving forward without me.
Submitted January 18, 2022 at 07:00PM by Hellisia https://ift.tt/3qBzXmh
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