Hi, first time posting to this thread! I’m (F24) currently in a relationship (parter is M29), we have been together for about 9 months, but have known each other for a while. We have some issues communicating sometimes, but have worked through it and for the most part are happy and have been having a great time.
For background, we recently gotten into a fight which is unrelated to this situation, but has left me feeling more insecure in the relationship Bc it ended in us deciding we needed more space and I have an anxious attachment style.
Since the beginning of the relationship we have both talked about a fantasy of ours, which is having a threesome. I’ve been equally into the idea and brought it up often as something I’m interested in, he is also very interested in it. On one occasion I asked another woman if she would be our 3rd, but she declined. The idea kind of fell off after that as we didn’t know someone we both liked and trusted and wanted to ask to join us.
Recently he has been pushing the idea more, and even went out with some friends and tried to talk to a girl. When he told me about it, it made me feel very uncomfortable. I explained to him that I was uncomfortable with him flirting with a girl while I’m not around, but I appreciated his effort in finding someone. He seemed a little irritated, saying “I only did this for you”, but then was sweet and understanding and told me not to apologize for my feelings and we could drop the idea until I am ready.
Later he seemed upset that “the threesome will never happen” but I tried to assure him when the situation was right it will.
Tonight he randomly texted me telling me he was going to download tinder to find a third. I told him I wasn’t cool with it and it made me uncomfortable. He seemed Set on the idea and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I started to panic and called him crying asking him not to download a dating app or at least talk to me so we could decide together.
At first he was sympathetic, but immediately switched and Got annoyed. He told me “this is why I need space from you. You’re bugging.” And “you claim to want a threesome but can’t even handle me downloading an app” it felt manipulative and I ended up feeling guilty for over reacting, but I felt like the fun of the threesome was ripped from me because him having control over the app makes me feel like it’s no longer about a shared experience as a couple and more about him doing what he wants.
I tried to compromise and say he could download the app if he gives me the password and apologized for freaking out, but his attitude made it clear he was mad, saying “no your reaction ruined it I don’t want to do it anymore.”
I feel manipulated and guilty for disappointing him. I don’t know what to do to apologize and give him what he wants while also have him respect my boundaries.
TLDR; my bf is making me uncomfortable with the way he is going about having a threesome.
The
Submitted January 29, 2022 at 10:10PM by SnooDogs5721 https://ift.tt/bvBdgEw9N
No comments:
Post a Comment