Hi so I'm a 21 year old female and ive been living /dating a 32 year old man for a little over a year now. Now let me start this out by saying that I met him when I was 19 years old at work in 2020. [TL,DR] My ex cheated on me and I was forced out. I luckly ended up sleeping on friends couches but I was desperate for a place. At the time I did not care where I just needed a place to stay so I can get my shit together and start a new. This is where my current Bf comes into the picture. We met at work and he had heard that I had lost my apt and was looking for a place to stay. He saw me upset mostly crying in the break room. He'd offer sum icecream and we chatted. He brought up the subject that he was moving in the end of his lease and moving in with another coworker of ours. He offered me to join but his lease ended way latter than I liked because I didn't want to stay sleeping on friends couches. So he offer to let me stay with him for the mean time until we all move in together. I was hesitant at first but I was so desperate I couldn't refuse the offer. So I ended up staying with him for almost 5 months in his apt. And let me say this out loud. This was very stupid of me. I should have never trusted so easily because after the first month this had taken our relationship to another level. I was crying upset still about my ex cheated on me and forcing me out of the apt. I lost alot of money and furniture that I couldn't get back. I was expressing this to him one night and he looked concerned for my well being at first. But the moment I calmed down he said this to me "you know what would make both of us happy." Me being dumb and naive I said "what, slash his tires." In a joking way. He laughed said "sure or we can make out." Mind you 8 did not see him like that at all. I was not ready to put myself through another relationship let alone with a person I barely knew. I being to nervous laugh and said "what, is this a joke" he begin to schoot closer to me on the couch and said "WHAT am I not attractive. This is for fun. Just try it you'll like it. It will make both of us happy. I saw your signs and I'm picking it up." I didn't know what "signs" he saw but I did not display anything for him to be like this. But I was scared worried of being kicked out again. So I tried to derail the conversation to something else. But he got up picked me up and put me on his lap. I freaked out I told him that this is weird and we should just watch a movie. And he ignored everything I was saying. Until he said "are we doing this or not." that when I frozen up. And I allowed myself to have intercourse with him. I could've said no I could've stopped this but I just couldn't I honestly was just to scared.
End of 2020 I had moved in with our third roommate and I had my own room. I was so excited to start becoming independent and leaving my past behind me. To clarify I'm just going to call my third roommate Joe while I'll call my current bf Dan obviously these are fake names. Well me and Dan weren't dating he was very addiment that we were just having fun and nothing more. And when we moved in with Joe he stopped asking me for fun. And I was happy about that I didn't want a relationship so I just kept to myself. Until one night I had ran to the bathroom but my roommate Joe was in it so I knocked on Dan's door and asked if I could use his bathroom he said sure. And there I went. When I got out he was sitting on the edge of the bed and called my name. I looked up and he smiles and pats on the side of the bed. I said what and he said "your just going to leave. Come on let's have sum fun. I said no I wasn't in the mood. He said that's fine It will be quick. I open the door to leave and he rushed me shutting the door saying "stop being a tease and to relax that I will enjoy it.
After that night it was easier to tell myself that he just like me that he was taking care of me the lease I can do is this right. Well one night we got into a fight after his dad insulted me over dinner. His dad is Puerto Rican like me but he threw his heritage away saying those are dirty people. Those were my people my Familia. So I Get upset and he turn to Dan saying this is why I married a white woman they cook they clean. Hispanic woman to noisy to loud too much. That Dan needs to be careful with me. I didn't say anything at the table but when we were in the car I blew up I was disgusted humiliated. But Dan defended his dad and blew up on me. That night he locked my out of my bathroom preventing me to get my feminine products. My roommate Joe got into it with him and he threw my pads all over the floor.
After that night I locked myself in my room for two months only coming out to cook use the bathroom and going to work and taking care of my animals. It was good Dan and I barely spoke until he bought a movie. He asked me if I wanted to see it. Me really wanting to watch it I said sure. The next day he made breakfast for everyone. After that little by little we were having conversations again we were laughing again. We were getting close again. I actually thought that this was going in a good direction until. The roller coaster of fights begin when I was getting upset because the way he talk to me always made me feel stupid. He would constantly mansplan stuff I already knew. And if I ever made a mistake he made sure I felt every bit of that humiliation. I asked him I look good in the dress I bought a while ago he said it's fine it looks good. And left it at that but our coworker came in on her day off in a dress and he is complimenting her saying she's a very pretty gorgeous his words an ice cube could melt kinda bueaty. He never said any of that once to me. I asked him if he could try a little bit harder in complimenting me and he blew up saying I was changing him. That I was a terrible for pressuring him.
Well today I finally woke up from my scared little self and I'm done I'm breaking up with him tonight and moving out. And I'm never looking back. I wish I knew how strong I really was because I didn't have to deal with all this abuse. I just wanted someone to hear me out.
Submitted January 27, 2022 at 06:26PM by Asleep_Monk1208 https://ift.tt/3u4jx8f
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