My bf (M25) and I (F25) having been dating for about 2.5 years - a lot of which has been long distance. He lives in another country for work and is very unhappy there and I’m having my own struggles in my grad program.
Things were going really well until this august. He came to visit for a month and we travelled around and met my friends etc. One night I told him I didn’t want to wear lingerie and he got upset with me saying that it’s the one thing he really likes in bed and that I’m ignoring his needs. Lingerie makes me uncomfortable but I wear it sometimes for him. That spiraled into me not being exciting enough and not planning more things for his trip. He also made constant comments about my being unfit and unhealthy. I was food restricted as a child and the pandemic has made it hard to do exercise that I enjoy, but I’ve gained no weight since we started dating and I’m pretty skinny. These things started to pick away at my self-esteem.
When he came to visit for Christmas things got worse. Again, he went off on me for ignoring his needs when I said I didn’t want to have sex for the second time that day because I didn’t feel well. It was hard to have sex for a lot of the trip because my brother stayed home due to covid. He was also frustrated that I didn’t want to do more things but I was uncomfortable because of the case numbers - we did plenty regardless of my discomfort. I really tried my best to make him happy despite the circumstances and it was a lot of pressure on me.
When he got home he said that he was losing attraction to me because that I wasn’t adventurous and healthy enough and he wasn’t fulfilled sexually. I’m trying to address these but I can’t help but feel embarrassed. It’s really wearing on my self esteem. Am I being too sensitive?
TL;DR my boyfriend told me he’s less attracted to me because I’m not adventurous, too risk-adverse, not healthy enough, only occasionally wear lingerie. It’s wearing on my self esteem. Am I being to defensive/sensitive?
Submitted January 09, 2022 at 04:55AM by After-Independence22 https://ift.tt/3GaM1R1
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