My boyfriend (34M) “teases” and “jokes” with me constantly. He says that I (23F) am overly sensitive, am I actually being abused?

My boyfriend (34M) “teases” and “jokes” with me constantly. He says that I (23F) am overly sensitive, am I actually being abused?

I have been officially with this man for almost two years, and we off and on dated for two years before that. I have been obsessed with him since the first time I saw him. We have been living together for about 7 months now. He has always been passionate and sweet in so many ways. But, for over a year now he has been constantly “teasing” me and it is wearing on me. He picks fun at me until I cry then hugs me and says “my baby is so overly sensitive”. I’m skinny, yet he makes comments like “if you get fat I’ll get rid of you!”. He daily, sometimes hourly, jokes about breaking up with me, even saying he will bag up all my belongings and leave it on the porch for me. He says I am lucky he does not punch me (with a laugh and smile on his face) and always jokes about hitting my dog. He even will hold my small dog and talk to him about how he would keep him when I die or when they (him and my dog) get rid of me. Everything I do is starting to feel criticized or demeaned. He does this from the moment i wake up to the moment I sleep and every hour in between. Ive told him many times I don’t like his teasing but he says that it would be boring if he didn’t tease me, he would not like me if he couldn’t tease me, that’s how he shows love, and it’s who he is. (I also laugh along at times even when I don’t like the joke) I’ve always been a super optimistic, cheery person and have been irritated and crabby lately. I have a long life of childhood and adult abuse I have endured and often feel like I’m the one with “issues”. He says that people who claim verbal abuse are just weak and easily manipulated. Aside from this he is also very tender and loving and dotes on me like I never thought another person could or ever will. And I want to put this in perspective, he is known by his friends and family as the jokester. That’s how he communicates. Everything he says is in a funny tone with laughter and a hug or kiss. Anytime I get upset he says it is a joke and not true, not to take him literally or seriously. We had a talk last night with me sobbing and him saying he would change, but this morning he said it is just who he is and laughed it off saying he would “try his best for his sweetie”. So I packed up my things and came to my grandparents. Now he’s devastated saying he knows he needs to be nicer and I deserve better. He is begging for another chance, saying he cannot loose me and will do anything it takes to change. I’m so confused and can’t stop crying. I have never been able to imagine my life without him. I’m crazy obsessed in love with him but my own self esteem can’t handle it.....I believed this was the man I would grow old with and now I am wondering if this is the life I want? Am I crazy? Am I too sensitive? No human is perfect....does it get better than this? Do I try to give him a fair chance to work on himself and change? TL;DR

Submitted April 03, 2020 at 09:10PM by newhalo https://ift.tt/39JczYv