My [M/25] longtime best friend and housemate [F/29] expressed that she’s in love with me, when I told her that my love for her is familial she had a breakdown and is now trying to blackmail me and a close friend [M/28] of mine

My former housemate and closest friend is a girl that I met as a child, we were briefly involved romantically about a decade ago but since then have been mates and nothing more. I enlisted in the army at 17 and after the end of my contract we moved in together, at the beginning of 2019 I finally admitted to her and myself that I loathe London and couldn’t bear another year of spending obscene amounts of cash to live in close quarters with Londoners and that I needed to go back up North, I was glad to go it alone but she insisted we stay together. I’ve been happy here, she less so, we come from Lancashire and she always resented the place so being back here after she spent years trying to affect a Southern accent and pretend that existence does not extend beyond the M5 — even though Salford/Manchester might as well be on a different planet, let alone in a different county (it technically is, since ‘Greater Manchester’ is not technically part of Lancashire), from the seaside hellscape of Blackpool that we grew up in — is not pleasant for her. I’ve told her numerous times that I would support her moving back to London, I would even help her with a deposit on a flat and would visit at least 1 week end every month, but she has refused to separate.

I met someone here maybe 6 months ago, he’s more than a friend but we would just call one another friends and I don’t really like the idea of having to label myself as gay or bi, or share the details of my personal life, since what matters is that I’m happy, and he is the same way. She doesn’t like him, I knew that from the start but once this whole Coronavirus thing started her contempt for him has become blatant and open. He lives with his family and because we didn’t want to be going back and forth and spreading germs all round he has been staying with me. This has made her very angry, her complaint is that her and I don’t get enough alone time together anymore, though that’s nonsense since I’ve offered many times that her and I should just have a night to ourselves as I’ve noticed her resentment and feeling of being left out, but she declined. Friday last she had a sort of breakdown, she told me that she couldn’t take it anymore, that she was in love with me and wanted him out, I told her that I loved her as a sister but wasn’t in love with her and that she has to accept that he is part of my life, thought that doesn’t mean anything between her and I has to change. The whole affair embarrassed her and she left to go stay at her mum’s, I even begged her not to go that night but she refused.

However, she has decided to twist events, saying that my ‘boyfriend’ and I violently put her out in the middle of the night, stole her cat (he’s our cat, and she left him here because he hadn’t returned for evening when she decided to leave) and gave me an ultimatum, that she is going to return on Tuesday and either he’s gone and she’ll stay or he is there and she will gather her things and tell everyone the details of my personal life which she has been privy too. She says that this is about more than just gossip, that women I have and possibly will date in the future have a right to know what I do, and that I’m a hypocrite for supporting the Tories whilst having a ‘male lover’, all nonsense just a thin veneer to cover her nastiness but it puts me in a bad position. I don’t want anyone to know about me because my business is mine and I value privacy, but my friend stands to have trouble in his neighbourhood, with his family and potentially at work if people know what we’ve been doing, especially since his brother already said that people on their estate are suspicious.

What on earth should I, should we, do?

TLDR: My closest friend expressed her love for me and when I told her that I loved her like a sister but not more she threatened to share the details of my personal life in a hurtful and damaging way.

Submitted April 26, 2020 at 06:13PM by Ioannes-Doe https://ift.tt/2YfMSwi