There will never be a good time to end a long-term relationship. How does one cut all the material, financial, familial ties?

I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 4 years. We have 2 dogs together. We bought a house together 7 months ago. The relationship has always been healthy in that we do not fight, we are supportive, we are respectful. He is the most emotionally stable and kindest man I have been with and therefore my longest commitment. (I have relatively few experiences to glean and I am his first EVERYTHING). But I am a selfish a**hole who, despite all those wonderful things, had major doubts 2 years in and besides attempting to talk them through, failed to act. I ignored the doubts on a premise of “all relationships wax and wane once you leave the honeymoon phase”. I ignored it all because I have struggled with self-esteem and co-dependency so instead of doing the painful and scary thing (leave) I shoved bad feelings down and moved forward with serious commitments (dogs and house). I hoped eventually I would “just know” he was the one and my doubts would fizzle. They have not. Now our sex-lives are leaning DB because of me and I have had to fight serious urges toward other men. I feel I need to experience being single and supporting myself entirely to further address co-dependency and figure myself out. But I am TERRIFIED of doing this because being alone is hard and hurting someone I care deeply about is even harder. I have made an absolute mess. How do I move forward during this awful COVID19 time? How do we begin splitting things?? A mortgage we just started!? How do I do all of this while being as kind and gentle to his heart as possible?

TLDR; I feel certain I need to end my relationship despite how good it has been due to life-long compatibility issues, but I have made a mess by ignoring that and making serious ties such as a recent mortgage. What do I do?

Submitted April 26, 2020 at 02:30PM by spazzleberry https://ift.tt/3eWT2ay