Hi Reddit, I'm (25f) having some trouble with m fiancé (26m) and am looking for some advice! We've been together for 7.5 years, engaged for 1.5, due to get married next Spring.
When I first met him we were teenagers, we then went to uni and grew up a bit, I got a job upon graduation as a Consultant and we moved to London. He got a job working for his lecturer's small consultancy which is very laid-back, there's 8 of them and technically he's "self-employed" so he's always decided his own hours. Since we moved to London that work has dried up, partly because of the move, and he's always expressed dissatisfaction with working there and wanted to look for a new job.
However, since we moved (~7 months ago) he's made hardly any attempt to find alternative employment and had been working ~10 hours a week for the past 2/3 months. He didn't tell me this and always made excuses as to why he couldn't contribute his share of the rent each month.
Since the coronavirus outbreak, I've been WFH so have been able to see for the past 6 weeks that he hasn't worked at all. Not one single hour. He's been drawing from inheritance left by his late father to pay rent. My argument is that this isn't a sustainable solution and is a waste of that money which could go towards a house.
Every day I watch him bum around until noon, sell a couple of things on ebay, play games and watch youtube videos all day. I encourage him to apply for a job to no avail - he's submitted maybe 3 applications in the last 6 weeks. He often says he's applying for jobs and has the job-search websites open on his screen, but as soon as I turn my back he switches tabs to a game (I've snuck in the room several times and seen this - how pathetic is it that this is what I've resorted to?!)
I've since been placed on furlough, however I still try to keep busy. I join online exercise classes ~8 times a week and go for runs. I've enrolled on a professional course to gain a qualification during my time off. I join webinars etc to stay current in my field. I do 90% of the housework. I spend hours baking stuff for him to eat. All this time he does NOTHING.
It is SO unappealing. He wonders why I'm not attracted to him. He's always complaining that he's tired but he doesn't do anything so how can he be?!
It's so frustrating that he expects me to pick up the slack financially. Whenever I bring up the subject of money he gets angry and refuses to talk about it. Says I moan and why can't I leave him alone etc.
I don't know what to do.... HELP!!! I so want us to get better before we get married.
TL;DR - fiance isn't working and doesn't spend the free time doing anything productive. Has no drive/ambition/motivation like I do. It's so unattractive and is making me resent him. What do I do?
Submitted April 27, 2020 at 05:38AM by grumpyvelma https://ift.tt/2KBYwK5
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