My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. But I really cannot stand his sister. For no actual reason other than I hate how everytime I gift something to him, she always ends up asking him for it and she gets the gift I intended for him.
I bought two bottles of a 250ml cetaphil skin cleanser for him, over here cetaphil is really expensive for the average minimum wage and can be considered a luxury. I bought 2 for him because the promotional combo was cheaper than getting 1 for the RRP, and he also has always said that he wanted to buy cetaphil so I got it for him instead. He ended up giving 1 bottle to her. Which is like reasonable, because 250ml is more than enough for one person, let alone 500ml total of it. But for some reason I just cant stand that she ended up getting it ? In my mind its like, I bought it as a gift for my boyfriend.. it seems a bit unfair (to me, but i could be wrong) that she received a gift that was meant for him.
I shrugged that off eventually because, whatever it's two bottles anyway. So here's the new thing now. We're all in quarantine right? So I sent a package to my boyfriend of his jacket and I included a ring and a picture of us in it too. And in the same package I wrapped a present for his mother, which was a silk cloth with traditional patterns. His mother likes to sew and alter clothes so I gifted it to her cos I knew she would probably like it.
So this afternoon my bf informed me that he received the package and sent photos. Then I asked about the gift to his mom, and he said that "it looks like my sister is wearing it now haha" and now this is REALLY bugging me. I mean, it was meant for his mom?? I wanted to gift something to his sister too but I don't know her that well and plus I had to stay within weight limit anyway, and his mom already knew I was going to gift her something.
Im probably being unreasonable and petty but I'm just really really annoyed that my gifts end up getting routed to her. I understand that he owns the gifts now and I dont really have a right to tell him not to pass it over to anyone. But it feels a bit disrespectful (?) and kinda makes me not want to gift him anything again because it feels useless that something I put my heart to for HIS usage, goes to his sister instead. It just feels very annoying and in my head I'm picturing her as someone who is very entitled. But again, its more probable than im just being irrational.
tldr: my bf's sister keeps taking the gifts that I gave to my bf and his mom, hence I'm very annoyed by it and its making me not want to gift anything again.
Edit: Im going to add on here because people are reading into this post wrongly.
1) I have never met his sister or his family at all. We live on different timezones and Ive only seen them on video call. The reason I dont like her and cant stand her for now is because I dont know her well enough. If we were closer, Im 100% sure I wouldnt be posting this in the first place.
2) i know this situation is petty, yes, but I actually intended for this post to be more of a vent thing. I do feel shitty and irrational for feeling annoyed, my intention was to ask if it is reasonable to feel that way. I guess i forgot to word that in, but its okay.
3) i would have given her a gift. I mentioned somewhere above. I didnt include it in the parcel because of the weight limit. The only way to send mail to him right now is via flight. I could only fit in so many in one plastic parcel.
4) i am not jealous of his sister? i have mentioned several times in the comments but ill add here for others who are just reading. Im only jealous of his family dynamic because theyre very close knitted and care for each other. My family dynamics just so happen to be that we all live under the same roof but we dont talk to each other and we're all independent. We generally dont share and keep all things to ourselves.
5) My next step is to get closer to his sister! I dont plan on calling him out for giving the gift to her. Like i said before, he owns the gift now so he can do what he wants with it. But I still think that Im allowed to feel annoyed. I cant control how i feel when I did put my heart into the gifts for them.
Especially since im probably annoyed because it felt like his mother didnt appereciate the gift and handed it to his sister and i didnt receive a thank you from her. When I asked about her gift, my bf only said "i think my sister will wear it now." And then "is that okay?". I was excited for his mom to receive it because i wanted to know if she would like it. I felt dejected.
Thats all for now. I should have been more clearer with this post lol
Edit 2: because i finally realised why i dont like his sister. Its because i think shes rude for constantly asking things from him. I dont know what happened, but based off previous occurences, Im pretty sure she did ask for it and they gave it to her. We gave him an iPhone 6 once since no one was using it, and she ended up asking him for it. He rejected and said its rude to hand it over to her since it was also a gift and he needed to be respectful. That told me enough of his character. I hope I dont have to clarify the type of person my BF is anymore and what my r/s dynamic with him is.
I just personally find it rude to ask someone for their belongings. Yes, i think its rude to ask from your own family members too. My family raised me to never ask for anything from anyone, it may be different for you so you can disagree. I figured thats why I was annoyed by this situation.
This does NOT mean i do not respect his family or do not intend to keep it smooth with them. I will try to get to know his sister better because obviously they're a close knit family and itll be stupid to do anything reckless over something petty.
Submitted April 27, 2020 at 03:33AM by off0noff https://ift.tt/2YlCNyj
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