I wanted to post this on r/entitledparents, but it might fit better here.
To kind of preface this whole story, my older sister had her first kid unexpectedly at 18 (I was 14 at the time) right as she was finishing high school, and attempted college once my niece was born. In order to help her out, my dad who was unemployed at the time offered to watch my niece until my sister came home from school everyday. I (18F) have 4 other siblings (two sisters, two brothers) besides my older sister, and we really all raised my niece together as a family, we all have a strong bond with that little girl. Two years later, my sister had dropped out of college and married her boyfriend/the father fairly quickly, and when my niece was about to turn 2, they all moved onto a military base in Colorado where my brother-in-law was working, where in the next year she got pregnant and gave birth to my nephew.
Back to present time, my brother-in-law has been honorably discharged from the military, and my sister and her two kids moved back home with my family while her husband stayed behind to get permission to leave, supposedly they were only staying just until they find a house to live in.
They had come back home plenty of times to visit while they were living there, and my niece was always excited to see us. I was in another part of the state at the time at university, but my sister's return home was just a week or so before my university kicked everyone off campus due to our current world situation.
I love my niece and nephew so much, and I was excited when my sister brought them along to pick me up from my dorm. I had missed the two of them so much in college, they felt like my own kids... a fact that is biting me in the butt.
I supposed she expects everything to be the same as it was when my niece was born, all of us working together to help raise her kids, right? What she doesn't see is that we were helping out then because of her circumstance. As of right now, she is not working and should be home everyday to quarantine, my state's Stay at Home order was recently extended into mid-May. But she doesn't do that! While living at home, she takes the kids to go see her friends, to their granny's house, and just living life as if there isn't a pandemic and she's putting herself, her kids, and our household at risk.
My sister just came back about two days ago from a 2-week long trip back to the military base, supposedly to finalize paperwork. She left the kids at home because of course, she's not going to risk her kids getting sick by transporting them by plane. So she left them home, which was fine. However, she has an extremely long history of promising compensation for babysitting for her, then paying absolutely nothing.
This is super frustrating, because as much as I want to rebel against her, and just refuse to watch her kids so that she can take responsibility for her kids. On the other hand, I don't want to abandon them and allow them to form bad habits and mannerisms that I can help avoid just because their actual mother is such a hands-off person. I don't want them to merely be pawns in my own scheme to get her to do her job, nor do I want them to grow up feeling unloved when I love them so much.
I don't know what to do. I'm really not someone that finds confrontation easy, especially my sister who will deny any kind of wrong doing on all fronts, but she doesn't seem to understand what she's doing wrong. I want my niece and nephew to have a good childhood, and I love them, but I know I shouldn't be the one responsible to ensure that happens for them. I still have my uni classes to get through online, and my grades are taking a huge hit thanks to my new role as Mommy Two.
Please, if anyone has any advice or suggestions of what I should do, please let me know. Also I'm willing to answer any questions to clarify the situation.
TL;DR My sister doesn't take care of her kids, and doesn't compensate for anyone who does so for her
Submitted April 25, 2020 at 10:56AM by Rinay-Synch- https://ift.tt/2VWGA1X
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