I (27/M) want to buy a portable dishwasher for my apartment, but I'm worried about how my dad (57/M) would react.

I really, really want to buy a portable dishwasher for my apartment. I hate doing the dishes, largely because I'm terrible at keeping up with them. One year ago, I raised the possibility with my psychiatrist that I may have Inattentive ADD - I have a hard time staying focused on tasks that aren't interesting to me, and I tend to procrastinate a lot. Throughout my school years, I had always believed that my underachievement was just pure and simple laziness, that there's nothing about me that should make it any more difficult to stay focused than anyone else, and that trying to figure out what could be "wrong" with me boiled down to searching for half-baked excuses over things that are my own damn fault in the first place. This is how most of my teachers felt, as well as my classmates and family. When I even try to raise this with them, it feels like I'm attempting to emotionally manipulate them to serve my own selfish ends. And they generally agree. Anyways, my psychiatrist gave me a questionnaire, and he agreed that I do exhibit more symptoms than the average person. So I do think I have it, and that realization has helped me to understand a lot of the struggles that I've had in my life.

So why am I reluctant to buy one for myself, even if I'm able to shell out enough money to afford it? Because it would change how the rest of my family looks at me, particularly my dad. They already think I'm lazy; this will just confirm their preconceived notions. They'll probably yell at me, condemn my purchase as irresponsible, and every time they talk about me, they'll make sure to use the word "lazy" and raise the dishwasher as the prime example. I don't know what sort of consequences this will have for me, or what opportunities will be shuttered as a result of getting a dishwasher, but I'm worried that my stock as a person will take a hit as a result.

So, what should I do? Should I stop worrying about it and make the purchase? Or should I back down?

Tl;dr: Want to purchase a dishwasher, but am afraid of how my family would react, and how their response will negatively affect me going forward.

Submitted April 27, 2020 at 01:46PM by UnwantedAndUnloved https://ift.tt/3cS3jmD