My brother (29) has mental problems that manifest in enraged tantrums. I (24F) told my parents (62) that I just don't about his welfare if he isn't willing to cooperate with treatment.

Ok, I've been off reddit for a while and had to create a new account to post, so please bear with me if I'm rusty on the rules of the sub.

My brother (29) has a list of mental illnesses and substance abuse issues as long as my arm. He's not intellectually disabled, but he's never really lived on his own or held down a job. He got through college because my parents (both 62) routinely bailed him out of trouble. In fact, they've always bailed him out, all the way through high school, college, and even up until now. He has no money, they get him an apartment. He screws up and makes a mess of the situation, they get him another apartment. He really screws up and goes to jail, they bail him out (literally this time) and bring him home. This cycle goes on, and on, into infinity, and I (24F) have been here to witness all of it. Right now, I'm stuck at home because I agreed to quarantine with parents instead of in my own apartment (which I paid for, with my money, from my own job. Novel fucking concept), so I get to see yet more of this.

I know they take care of my brother because they're really loving parents.But in the end all this coddling has just turned him into a selfish, immature jerk unwilling to make any attempt to treat his issues. One of these "issues" is a tendency towards enraged confrontation when he gets depressed or frustrated. He has told me about his detailed plans to wipe out our whole family for well over a decade. The professionals he has seen believe that he has frequent and incorrigible "h*micidal ideations." Well, yeah.

Every time he lands back at home, he gets listless and dangerous. Two weeks ago he was demanding that he be provided with drugs, stomping around the house and screaming at all hours of the night. This went on for 3 days. Eventually, things got really heated. He ended up smashing open a locked door while chasing my mother. I heard the commotion and called the cops. He ran at me and chased me outside. I really thought I was going to get hurt. But my parents asked the cops not to take him away. A few hours later, he started up the same crap and the cops had to be called again. This time, he finally went to a hospital.

Obviously, I think my parents handled the situation wrong and this has caused a lot of friction. My parents have accused me on multiple occasions of "not loving my brother enough," because I called the cops when what he really needs is "love and support." Thankfully, the state doesn't agree: A judge ordered my brother to stay in a state mental hospital for at least several months, so there's no way they can bail him out this time. But he frequently contacts my parents to ask for stuff, including an apartment for when he gets out. When I was with my mom today I heard her promise that they would have an apartment waiting for him when he gets out. I blew up. We started arguing, with my point being that all the professionals my brother has seen have told my parents to give him an ultimatum: accept treatment or be cut off. Finally, we got to this point:

Mom: "What are you saying? You'd have us let him spend the rest of his life ALONE in the STREET?"

Me: "Mom, he is dangerous and he WILL hurt someone. If he isn't willing to accept treatment this time than I DON'T CARE IF THE END OF HIS LIFE IS TOMORROW!"

My mom, for obvious reasons, did not appreciate that statement, and was so angry she called me an "evil bitch," and told me I ruined the whole day we had planned (baking, watching movies, etc.). That was this morning and she hasn't talked to me since. I feel awful for what I said, but mostly because I don't regret it and I there is a part of me that feels I should regret it. So, please, was I wrong here? If I was, how can I make this better? Should I try to discuss my feelings about my brother with my parents or just avoid the whole subject?

TLDR; My brother (29) has mental problems that manifest in enraged tantrums. He tried to hurt me and my parents recently and is now in custody. When my mom confronted me about not loving him enough, I told her that if he wasn't willing to get better I wouldn't care if he died. What should I do?

Submitted April 25, 2020 at 03:27PM by BothFilm https://ift.tt/2y2awSv