Some backstory so it’s easier to understand the situation.
I’ll call my sons father A to make this easier.
Let me start out with it’s not actually A’s house, it’s his grandparents. A lives there with his grandma, grandpa, mom, and three sisters. 7 people total.
A(22m) and I(25f) were not together when we were staying there. My son(2m) stayed there first, because unfortunately I got ahead of myself and smoked pot. I violated my probation one month before I was scheduled to be done with it, like an idiot. So I went to jail for 30 days and during that time my son stayed with A and his family.
Part of the plea deal I took was doing weekly drug testing for the first 8 weeks. It was agreed that I would stay with A and his family because I live 3 hours away from the probation office I have to report to.
I had three weeks left but do to covid19 I did not have to go in those last three weeks. As there were talks of a two week stay at home order, I decided to bring my son back home but did not bring much of our stuff figuring I could get it in two weeks.
Now a little over a month has passed and I desperately need my clothes and I want my son to have his new toys he had gotten for his birthday. So I decided that I’m going to make a round trip in one day to get our stuff.
Now, I found out nobody at A’s house is following the stay at home order, or social distancing. They are letting A’s teenage sister have friends over, grandparents are going out constantly for random things they don’t need, mom is hanging out with friends every day. I’m not sure if A is doing anything, he would lie if he was. Either way, I don’t feel safe bringing my son as he’s a toddler and won’t wear a mask. I also know if I bring him they will not stay 6 feet away from him.
A is telling me I’m an awful person for not bringing him to visit even though he knows the drive alone is horrible for our son. A claims I stole his son from him, even though he knew the situation was temporary.
He’s constantly trying to guilt me into bringing him now that it’s getting closer to the day I go get our stuff. Again, saying I took his son from him and his purpose in life.
I’d like to also mention that I have an elderly mother and step father at home. My step father is already in poor health and has been for years, he refuses to see a doctor.
A knows all of this. Also, when baby and I were staying with A, he didn’t do anything. Meaning A did not help with the baby, he did not acknowledge the baby, got mad if he had to watch him for a minute or even give him any attention. He never played with him either. He has not tried to talk to, ask about, video chat with his son since we left. He knows baby loves talking to him on the phone and video chatting but he never asks to talk to him or anything. A was also an absent father before I went to jail. He never tried to contact him when we were home at that point either.
I believe A is trying to manipulate me because I finally got sick of his shit and in his own words “stopped being so obedient” and also refused to agree to have sex with him when I go get our stuff. I told him it’s not a visit, I’m getting our things and going straight home.
So am I really the asshole here or is he just trying to find a reason to be mad?
ETA: I have repeatedly told A I will bring our son to visit once everything calms down. Even though I believe he should be putting in some effort in his relationship with his son.
Submitted April 30, 2020 at 01:59AM by booksbro https://ift.tt/35gmzaS
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