So for starters we’ve never been the absolute best friends in the world, but things have gotten much worse in recent years. It really all started A couple years ago when I came out as transgender to my family. After the initial shock died down, everyone was ok w it besides her. Around this time is when she really sort of stopped talking with me. It was frustrating but like I said we were never exceptionally close to begin with. Things kinda kept on in a passive aggressive manor on her end for a few years. She’d barely say a word to me, would never call me by my name, would have to combat every thing I ever said, etc. but this was ok because I was away at school and didn’t have to deal with it that often. However, things got worse last summer
In July I had a really bad relapse with my Eating disorder, resulting in substantial weight loss. It’s taken a few tries but now I’m almost 5 solid months in recovery and am doing really well. However, my sister couldn’t hate me more. She’s been trying for years to lose weight, always trying to exercise or try the new fad diets, and she still will struggle with it. It’s gotten to the point now where I’m seeing ED behaviors in her relationship with food. The reason I bring this up is that ever since I had lost weight, she’s resented me even more. She’s spiteful towards me because now she can’t have a scale In the house (I never asked her not to), angry that I asked if there could not be discussion of weight and exercise and calories at least at the dinner table (she gets angry that I’m “censoring” her and how now she has nothing to talk about) and basically blames me for every self made problem in her life (for example blaming me for my parents not going to her sporting events because they had to deal w me when she explicitly tells them not to come). In my first rehab she wrote a letter about our relationship (at the urging of my therapist) and it basically boiled down to a jealousy of my eating disorder. She said how she was mad that I could seemingly eat whatever I wanted and still be losing weight because I was “cheating,” and how when she found out about it she told our parents because she was mad I was getting away w doing stuff like that.
Now the reason for this post. Obviously we’ve been quarantining for over a month now, and being in such close proximity 24/7 has just not helped anything. I can just walk into a room and she’ll growl/grunt and roll her eyes at me. Any time she absolutely has to talk to me, like asking a question, it sounds like she’s in physical pain based on how she talks. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve now basically resolved to just try my best to not even so much as see her anymore because I shouldn’t be forced to interact with someone who makes me feel so bad about myself. My mom always pushes for us to be closer, but always pins it on me and says I have to be the one to reach out and make it work because my sister won’t, and I’m just tired of that mentality. So I guess just my question is how can I manage to get through these next few months dealing with this? I’m planning on moving out as soon as I can/when all this is over, but until then I’m just kinda stuck here and am not quite sure what to do to make it any easier
Tl;Dr- my sister is resentful towards me over weight loss that occurred during my eating disorder and it’s made living at home right now extremely difficult and I’m not sure how to make it easier for me to move through this
Submitted April 22, 2020 at 05:58AM by topcoatsandhats https://ift.tt/2VQ4TOZ
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