Up the this point, I assumed that feeling unloved by my parents was because of teenage angst. I'm now realizing that I've ignored thousands of red flags. My dad has always been extremely violent. He groped me when l was 11, and put a camera in my bedroom. When I was 15, he took me out of high school. My parents constantly degraded me and told me that I was too stupid to ever do anything worth doing. I was in charge of raising my little sister. They wouldn't let me get a job or tell anyone that I wasn't in school. I was completely isolated for 3 years. I got my first job at 18, as soon as I was legally able to without parental consent, I got my GED, and took the SAT. I saved up money for school, and now in my third year of college.
I've been working three jobs for the last two years, while being a full time student. I met a guy, and he means the world to me. He makes enough money to cover all of our bills with a decent amount of extra income, so I quit two of my jobs to focus on school. It wasn't until now that I realized how screwed up my parents are. I always thought that they were disappointed in me because I didn't do enough. Me and my fiancé have plans to buy a 3 bedroom house that's comfortably within our budget since we've been saving. We just adopted a puppy, since we can afford it and we've been lucky during quarantine, so my fiancé still has work. My mom won't even meet my puppy. She's never even been over to our apartment, which is 30 minutes away from her house.
I was in a car accident in 2018, and my parents needed the money from the settlement so I gave them $16,000, which they were supposed to pay back. I understand that neither of them are employed right now, so I haven't been asking for payments, but right before Disney Land closed, my mom took my little sister there. I talked to my dad about getting some money back, since they had enough money to go to Disney Land, and he said, "What do you want us to do, starve??" My mom also spreads rumors about me like crazy. She told everyone that I was pregnant because 1. I was excited that my sister was coming into town so she thought that I was going to make an announcement and 2. My fiancé and l are planning on getting married. Obviously a shotgun wedding was in the works, so why not tell everyone? l'm not pregnant. I had to call everyone in our family to make a nonpregnancy announcement, which really sucked since we were pregnant in October and lost it. When I told my mom that we weren't pregnant she said "Oh, thank God." I'm assuming that she was relieved by the news since she has told me before that she hates kids and that she never wanted children.
Sorry for the long rant, I just had to share. Been a stressful time.
TL;DR I’m just realizing that my parents don’t care about me, and I’m wasting time and money trying to get them to want the children that they never wanted
Submitted April 22, 2020 at 02:13AM by SlowTowedBeans https://ift.tt/3avkh8K
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