Tl;dr: Japanese friend whom I’ve only hung out with a couple of times a few years back somehow thinks it’s acceptable to park his ass in my tiny London flat for over a month and I need to know whether this is a cultural difference or he’s just an inconsiderate asshole. Edit: for clarity, I am not asking about how to get him out, I only want to know whether he’s being inconsiderate and selfish or it’s just a misunderstanding.
Hi everyone! I have a bit of a situation going on and need help understanding whether this is a cultural misunderstanding or I’m dealing with a selfish individual. I posted this in r/japan but the automoderator decided this is somehow about short-term travel to Japan lol
In any case, a few years ago I was on a flight to Tokyo and met this Japanese guy, let’s call him Ken (24M).
Ken and I hung out a few times while I was in Japan and have kept in touch since.
6 months ago, Ken told me he’d been planning for ages to come to Europe, including London, where I live, as his university graduation trip. He told me he’d been planning to go to a number of cities around Europe, including Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsinki, and some others.
Naturally, I told him I’d be happy for him to stay at mine when he visited London, and he accepted. He told me he would then go to the North and South from here, and then move on to the other cities he intended to visit.
I asked him many times before he got here how long he intended to stay at mine for and he never gave me a straight answer, always saying he ‘didn’t know’ and would see how he felt like. He defined himself as ‘very spontaneous’ a few times.
Now here’s the thing. He came to mine almost 3 weeks ago, and he sounds like he has no intention of leaving until the very end of his trip, when he will go back to Japan, in 2 weeks’ time.
Nani the fuck?! He has barely left the house in all this time, he only cooks and watches Netflix, and whenever I tell him he should at least go and visit London, if anything, he says he is just happy ‘living like a local’. He somehow has dropped all intentions of visiting other countries and cities altogether.
Does he not understand he is greatly imposing on someone he has only met a few times, in spite of having kept in touch for a few years?
I was happy to accommodate him for a few days, a week tops, while he was visiting London, but how does he not understand he is greatly disrupting my life? My 1-bed flat isn’t big by any standards - in fact he has been sleeping on my sofa bed - and he is here all the time!
I know full well part of the fault is mine for not insisting he give me exact dates and for being a pushover overall, but seriously?? Who the fuck does this? Not to mention he’s super friendly and nice with me, which tells me he really has no idea he’s doing anything wrong!!
Is this some sort of cultural difference I don’t know about? My only other reference point is my Japanese teacher (20F), who told me this is really bizarre and that her Japanese friends visiting London stay in a hotel even if she invites them to stay at hers.
Thank you
Submitted March 06, 2020 at 11:57AM by Vikkio92 https://ift.tt/2TseNGO
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