TL:DR Just found out while on a trip that my girlfriend has been cheating on me for months. I feel lost and overwhelmed, don't know how to stop thinking about this and get through the next few days.
Obligatory English isn't my first language, my apologies if there are spelling or grammatical errors.
This is about my college sweetheart who I met about 8 years ago and was in a relationship with for the past 6.5 years. We've had our difficulties while being long distance for a couple of years in between, but everything seemed great starting February this year when we moved to the same city.
Cut to this weekend, we decided to go on a trip. She seemed weirdly distant the whole time yesterday and was spending a lot of time texting on her phone. I assumed it was work related until I accidentally saw some suspicious smileys on a WhatsApp chat. I still ignored it and didn't confront her about it, but it bothered me until I decided to check her phone today morning.
Turns out she was seeing this other guy since June, and this didn't start off by accident, it began with a date and then led to plenty of meetups and staying over at her place. We didn't move in together yet because relationships are frowned upon in our culture and the families didn't know. I ended up reading through a lot of sexually explicit messages, which was very hard to do and is something I can't unsee.
Anyway so I just packed my stuff up, left the hotel and booked a flight back home. She called me a couple hours after I'd left (when she woke up). I picked up, and she started berating me for leaving without at least staying back to talk about it first. Then she kept repeating that she was sorry and that it was just one mistake, but I know that it had been going on for quite a while now. I also sent a courtesy message to the other guy she was seeing letting him know about this because it didn't seem like he knew either.
Now I'm just at the airport waiting for my flight which is in a couple of hours. I was able to calm my self down after talking to a couple of friends, and feel ready to pick up the pieces and move on. From my perspective, I feel like there is nothing I could have done to see this coming or change any of this, because I have always been open to feedback and supportive of her. I don't know what her grievance was with our relationship but I feel betrayed that despite knowing me for so long and having been through so much shit together, she did something like this instead of just talking to me.
I'm planning to consult a therapist and work through any issues that may potentially arise from this black swan event in my life. I'm very nervous about having to enter the dating pool again because I have mild social anxiety which has just gotten worse since I moved to the US from a different country/culture.
I tried my best to not act out of anger/spite throughout the few hours I have been subject to this news. Did I handle this situation okay? My friend thinks I shouldn't have contacted the other guy.
I have also recently been sort of depressed and I'm worried about the impact this will have on my mind. Obviously I'm finding it vey hard to cope with all this new information right now and I feel quite overwhelmed. I just can't get the sexual stuff that I read out of my mind. Redditors who have dealt with this before, how do I get through the first few days?
Submitted September 01, 2019 at 12:30PM by MasterMirror92 https://ift.tt/2ka4bO2
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