Throwaway, brace yourselves cause this is not an easy story to tell.
I am a guy who, since puberty, only had feelings for men. In my student years I was an advocate for gay rights, organizing Gay Prides etc. I had 2 relationships, one that only lasted 7 months and another that lasted 4 years, my last boyfriend broke up with me after cheating and soon afterwards, I lost both my parents in a car crash. I was 24.
I had slept with women before and didn't mind it, at my job, a new manager, 6 years older than me, named Vanessa expressed her interest in me and we started hooking up. She was always aware of my past with men. We hooked up for a year and they she announced she was pregnant, her birth control failed. We had a long and hard discussion about it and I told her I was not ready to be a father, not in a financial nor emotional way, but I was prepared to help as much as I could.
During the pregnancy I paid for doctor's appointments, bought the furniture for the baby and helped set-up her room. 1 month before giving birth she told me she had met a man, Ethan, who seemed really nice and who would like to be involved. I was not there when she gave birth, and never met the child. Vanessa and I kept in contact once a year, on the child's birthday, I would sent money from time to time, and help whenever I was needed, such as when the child was 6 she had health issues and needed a new kidney. Again, without meeting her.
Vanessa and Ethan moved to a different country one year later and Vanessa told me Ethan and her got married and he wished to adopt the child. Although I was never recognized as the father they wanted my blessing. I agreed. We agreed that from now on no financial support was needed and that the contact with me would end. They also said that they did not want me to be in contact with their daughter until she was an adult. Which I accepted.
The child, let's name her Laura, is 17 now. 6 months ago she contacted me through Facebook. Her first message to me was...bad. It was a whole letter about how I was a 'deadbeat dad' who never cared about her. There were lots of mean things in it such as some paragraphs about my dead parents 'crying in their graves about what kind of father I am.'
I contacted Vanessa, who was shocked and told me she had always spoken with respect about me, she showed me conversations she had had with Lauren, conversations Ethan had had with Laura, a baby birth book with a paragraph about me. Nothing negative, just the truth. 3 months ago, she contacted me saying she was 'Queer' and needed advice since she thought this was a character trait from me. She also tried to contact my husband asking him if he knew about me (he did). Again, Vanessa and Ethan were informed.
A week ago. My boss came to me saying there had been a person making posts about me on social media tagging our company ( I work for a European airline with a great customer service). It was an account that claimed that I was a deadbeat father. The person also contacted some of my relatives and friends. Some examples: 'OP is a fake F*****', 'OP is a deadbeat dad.', 'Shame on *company* to have such a horrible person as OP as their employe.' , 'OP deserves dead parent'.
Ethan and Vanessa have asked me if I would like to meet Laura. I told them no. Before I wouldn't have minded but now I hate the idea. My friends and family members think I should meet her, I don't want to. I could use some advice.
Tl;dr: I don't want to meet my biological daughter, is this bad?
Submitted September 22, 2019 at 04:42PM by Jajajaja13134I4 https://ift.tt/331B8gn
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