LONG: Am I being too emotional about this? 28 (f), 30 (m), Husbands negativity towards me is soul crushing

So a little background, my husband and I are high school sweethearts, having met him when I was in grade 10 and then became an item when I was in grade 12. Our relationship was the epitome and perfect in the beginning, however, he started to show some unfavourable characteristics that I was always stupid enough to quickly forgive. Some of these characteristics were him calling me a cunt when I bought my brothers house to help him move to a bigger house for his expanding family, I did ask him if he would be interested in buying the house with me, however, he complained that the neighbourhood wasn't affluent enough and not to his standards, I was 20 at the time and couldn't afford much else working a minimum wage job while he made twice as much as I did. This led me to being hurt after he called me a name and he gave me the silent treatment for several weeks after. Not helping me pay for bills when he first moved in, frequent silent treatments when mad. He used to buy me lovely cards and leave me notes, and over the years that has stopped, I have to instigate sex most of the time and he barely helps me around the house. Now here is where the fighting begins, he comes home from work, starts playing video games and smokes pot while I'm cooking dinner, to his defence, he does ask me if he can help me but I prefer to cook alone, so that's on me. However, I work too and I go to university , we have three dogs that he doesn't help out with, and then goes on these rants about how the house is messy and what not. When I point out to him that he doesn't clean he turns around and states that he doesn't need to clean because I'm the messy person and its my fault the house is a mess, and that if he does clean its messy the next day. I clean the floors, do the laundry, cook, load and unload the dishwasher, clean the dog and cat shit, make the bed, make his lunches and breakfasts and barely have any time to myself to sit. When I bring up how hurtful he gets when he blames me for the mess and how he talks to me, he turns it around that I'm too hysterical and he can't even say anything to me without it being blown out of proportion. I simply and calmly tell him that the way he talks to me puts me down and that he could help me clean a bit too...which leads back to blaming me again for the mess and him going "oh so you want me to do everything then?." We recently had this argument and he has not talked to me in 3 weeks, any correspondence I do get from him is through text. I am currently at my brothers because I couldn't stand him ignoring me, he would also come home with food just for himself and eat it in front of me, I told him I would go to my brothers house to cool down. He never said a word to that, I suggested counselling and told him I made an appointment for us and he told me to cancel it. We had a wedding that we were both invited to, because we were fighting I texted him every couple of days asking will you go to X's wedding with me? or do I need to find someone to accompany me? he never answered. The day before the wedding he was hanging out with a mutual friend of ours who I asked to ask him if he was going, to which this friend then relayed to me that my husband was mocking me and impersonating me in a condescending tone and finally texted me "to go by your fucking self."

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While at the wedding, I kept texting him it wasn't to late to come if he wanted to, and he shot me down saying I never cleaned his suite so "how the hell can I go looking like that." I told him I did clean his suit and pressed it the night before, to which he just said he's not going and that's final. I told him the only time he writes to me is to be hurtful, and when I try to talk to him he doesn't answer his phone, if its in person he looks straight ahead and ignores me as if I wasn't there and ignores my texts, so we might have to think about divorce if we couldn't work out our differences, he then told me to make a marriage counselling appointment. I asked him to do it since I already tried once before, to which he criticized my job saying that I don't do much but sit at a desk all day (I work at a women's shelter on a crisis line) and that he works hard (electrician) and that I have to make the appointment because he has no time (although he comes home and plays video games from 6pm-11pm). Regardless I made the appointment, the counsellor gave us forms, I filled them right away and told my husband he needed to fill his, he never responded so I sent him a reminder text the next day, didn't hear from him another 2 days, so I finally asked him "are you going to fill out the papers anytime soon, just so I know when to expect to phone the counsellor" to which he replied "get off my dick already, I'll get to it when I get to it."

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So I am not sure what to do, should I leave him to his silent treatment and let him reach out to me?, am I being over emotional about this? Should I just let it go and ignore his criticisms?

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**TL;DR;** : Husband likes to use silent treatments when angry with me, and the only time he breaks these silent treatments is to criticize me

Submitted July 06, 2019 at 07:07PM by Schr0ding3rsSpy https://ift.tt/2JgR0o0