Group of friends (30's F) trying to guilt me into being a stay at home mom for at least 3 years after my baby is born.

So, I am 38y-o and almost 6mnths pregnant with my first child. I wanted to have kids with the right person or not at all and it took some time to find that special someone to start a family with.

My friends all had kids 5-6 years ago and since they have kids, it's like a private circle I am excluded from because " I wouldn't understand, I don't have kids" . Since having kids, my friends have been solely interested in kid activities like zoo, waterparks, kids movies and such. We have not been out between adults since kids are in the picture.

I know that having kids changes one's life and that priorities change but my bf and I want our lives to be more balanced between adult life and kid activities. Keeping that in mind, I am still working and intend to do so until the end of my pregnancy and once the baby is here, I expect to stay at home for about 4-5 months and my partner will be staying at home for the rest of the parental leave ( about 8 months).

As I was talking to my friends about the planning, I found myself austrasized again, this time for being "insensitive and disconnected from my child's future needs" and that" I will be missing on all the firsts" stating that I shouldn't be career oriented as my job is not that important compared to motherhood. Some of my friends even implied I shouldn't have kids if I am not ready to be fully devoted to them( meaning full time mom). I explained that to me, a good parent is a happy parent and leading a life were I can still reach my full potential as an independant adult does not automatically come into conflict with motherhood. At this point, my friends are now moderately upset with my partner and I life choices. Even though we are not going to be bullied and shamed into having me stay at home, The resentment I have towards my friends and their constant comments are taking a toll on many years of friendship.

At this point, I have started to disengage even more from the group and I find myself being extremely sarcastic with my friends by throwing the "I wouldn't know, I am not a parent yet" every chance I get.

Am I really oblivious to the hole "only parents can understand" situation? Or is it time to go our separate ways as I do not share the same point of view and intend to live my life differently?

Tldr: friends say they know best because they are mothers and I am only mother to be.

Submitted July 06, 2019 at 10:20PM by vixxen_barnicle https://ift.tt/2Jjlq9d