Hopefully nobody will recognize me based on this. I want to say that before I had health issues, he never had issues with this.
Couple of things:
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I have epilepsy (uncontrolled for the past few years) and a neurological condition that makes me drop/faint. However, the dropping has pretty much stopped since November and my seizures have been okay for the past 3 or so months-I’m guessing both are due to going to the gym the past few years and some dietary changes.
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He also doesn’t let me outside to go on our balcony. We’re 9 stories up and it’s glass, but there is no possible way I could go over the edge. We have a BBQ out there that is barely used because of that.
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I have autism, which will be important later.
Our neighbourhood is downtown-ish; the odd homeless person but plenty of families. There are car break-ins at nighttime and things like that but during the day I see plenty of people walking with their dogs/kids. Next year we would like to get a dog and I would like to be the one taking it for walks-he says he’ll be the primary “walker” but I know when work is busy he won’t be able to walk him/her twice a day. Plus I work from home and would like to be finished with our walk before dinner time.
This came to another heated argument last night. I told him that if we have a puppy or a baby I’m going to have to go outside every day. I said that I have to get used to walking routes NOW while it’s nice out because I need mental familiarity with places or I get overwhelmed, and I don’t want to get overstimulated on the streets or not have specific routes. I told him I could put a location tracker on and tell him when I’m going for a walk so that he’ll know if anything happens. Not good enough.
As far as the barbecue goes, I used to bbq at my old place all of the time. He’s freaked out because I could fall into the barbecue and says he would rather do it himself. Problem is, he is scared of the balcony. What’s added to this fear is that I did have a seizure a few years ago while cooking on our gas range inside. I got second degree burns on my face and neck. We’ve since switched to induction. I also used to bake a lot but he gets really really angry if I do that when I’m not around him so that hobby is pretty much wrecked.
We spoke to a counsellor a few years ago and she took my side on things-that my quality of life could be made better by being allowed to do some of this stuff, but afterwards he just told me that was a waste of time.
TL;DR Fiancé yells at me or outright doesn’t allow me to do things alone. My point is that I feel controlled and like I can’t do anything alone. His point is that everything is too dangerous/risky. What can I do?
Submitted May 27, 2019 at 10:32AM by Throwawayfuglyshorts http://bit.ly/2HWnEtg
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