Hi reddit,
So, this is a long one. There's a decent amount of back story. Tldr at the bottom. On mobile, throwaway account, blah blah.
I am the oldest of 5. We share our mom, and there's 3 dads. My mother was a life long criminal with a variety of arrests and convictions. Her first arrest was at 14 for stalking, harassment, and assault. Her most recent arrest for possession and intent to sell narcotics. She died 2 years ago this July from cancer. She lost custody of me at 3.5, and of my siblings when I was 13. The youngest was taken by CPS and adopted before she turned 2. My grandfather, her father, was able to take custody of the others ages 7, 4, and 3.
My brother (18m) ran away at 15 be with her, and immediately started distributing drugs. He was arrested for possession of an unregistered gun, and has been on probation since then. He lives with his father a "former" cartel member, or so he claims. My sister adores our brother.
My sister used to be an amazing student, athlete, and daughter. After my brother ran away things went downhill pretty quickly. She started getting into fights at hole with our other sister, and then it started happening at school. She swears at my grandpa and his wife. She's failing classes. Stealing clothes and makeup.
When this first started, I had just had my first child. My husband and I were doing well financially, and had a low cost of living. So, we offered to take her for the summer and go from there. She refused. My grandpa said he'd handle it. A year passes, she tells me she can't handle living there anymore and blames everyone else for her problems. Again, we offer to take her in for the summer and go from there. She refuses, and grandpa says he will handle it. Our mom died that summer. My grandfather brought my sisters to see her before she died, and I insisted that my sister be left with us. My other sister and grandfather thought it was a good idea. However, yet again my sister refused.
This last summer she finally agreed to spend the summer with us. However, she failed three classes and spent the entire summer in summer school. September of last year her "step brother" (child of grandfather's wife) tried to assault her while he was high. I offered again for her to stay with us. Refused. This past February she was assaulted by a boy at her school, and we again offered to take her in for a couple weeks.
I have pleaded with her and my grandfather so many times to let me help her before something happens where we can't trust her. Or to at least get her counseling. She's been through a lot and needs proper help. They both refuse.
I get a call from him today that she has been stealing 100s in clothes and makeup from my other sister and his wife. She stole a credit card and rang up 500+ dollars that he can see so far in ubers and uber eats because she won't take the bus, and she won't eat lunch at school. My grandpa has had enough and says he booked a ticket for her to spend the ENTIRE summer here, and then he texted me about some sort of packet he mailed to us about custody papers. We are not in a great place financially right now, and I know this last thing will be a deal breaker for my husband.
I want to help my sister, but we live in a different state, our finances are no longer stable, and honestly I'm worried about the influence she would have on our daughter. I wish he would have let me help three years ago.
Tldr: My grandfather has refused to get my sister professional help, or to let me help her for years. Now that's she is stealing from him, and getting into weekly fights at school he wants to send her away to us. We can no longer afford to take her on, and I'm not sure what to do.
Submitted May 03, 2019 at 09:12PM by throwaway1012131415 http://bit.ly/2DNGEJj
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