Is this negging, a French culture gap, or am I [27F] just too sensitive and need to see a therapist due to past child abuse? Don't want to scare off another relationship by crying

So I'm [27F] seeing this guy [29M] long-distance (around a 5 hour flight away) for the past two months and I just came back from a visit crying. I'm pretty sure the potential relationship is over but I want to understand if I'm too sensitive because at the moment, I'm can't be sure if it was my problem or his.

Background: I met this a French guy a year ago through work but was with someone at the time so while there was a connection, nothing happened. Around two months ago we met again (also due to work) and this time I'm single, so sparks flew and he said that he'd be interested in getting to know me more and seeing if this could go somewhere serious. We had a great night together, which lead to him flying me out that weekend to where he lives on a whim. We've seen each other 3 times since then (once at a work conference we were both scheduled to go to, and the other two when I made the decision to fly out and see him). The problem is that we both have very demanding jobs (i.e. work 10-16 hours/day, traveling for work constantly) and it's been really hard to make plans in advance, but I've tried to make it work by trying to text him regularly, flying to see him and accommodating his schedule. But the past 2-3 weeks he's been kind of MIA/slow at responding to text messages while on a business trip and didn't bring up the next time we'd see each other (other than another work event in mid-June), so when I asked for a call to catch up last week and said while I understand work pressures, LDR still required more effort. He said he understood and that he'll try to be more present with text messages and he'd be happy if I could fly in to see him this weekend. So despite my reservations, I thought I'd give it another shot and went.

The weekend was okay but there were a few things I wasn't comfortable with already (see below for more background info). Then I started noticing that he would make jokes that subtly put me and my job/company down (the company he works for is significantly more famous and successful than mine). Initially I laughed it off as him flirting or being himself, but started noticing it more. Some examples from this visit were:

• "I make deals of ____ million euros per year. Boom. What do you do? Sell shitty [product] in [city I live in]? Haha just joking."
• "My god that's the first time I've learned something from you. Good job! Haha just joking."
• "I guess [your self-esteem] is doing ok for a stressed, skinny, bitch."
• "I'll try not to sleep/flirt with the waitress. Haha I'm kidding, c'mon take a joke."
• "Little [sealionsroar]. You're like a baby, I'll call you [sealionsroar] baby. Do you like this nickname?"
• "You're so predictable. Everything you do is so predictable."
• "How are you so clumsy? My god." (which was initially kind of cute because at work I present a very put-together facade due to my role as manager/head but this was at a formal dinner when he focused everyone's attention on me dropping my fork on the plate)

If I rolled my eyes, he'd quickly say "just kidding! Where's your sense of humor?" If the joke involved him flirting with other women and he saw I wasn't into the joke, he'd quickly say just joking and hug/kiss me so I brushed the comments off. Also, he's naturally a very, very confident (veering into arrogant sometimes) person, and in addition he's amazing at his job, having accomplished a lot at a young age despite coming from a relatively uneducated family (this is all coming from him, he's super willing to tell me about himself). So I just chalked all the comments up to his personality.

But then on the last night, it all went south. When heading to dinner, I didn't catch the elevator fast enough and instead of sticking my hand/feet in to stop the doors closing, I jerked back and the elevator went down. He started getting a little in my face saying "why didn't you just stick your hand in? Nothing is going to happen! You're so scared of everything! Just keep it open, even if a freak accident happened, you can sue the hotel for a million dollars. C'mon!"

I was really taken aback and it brought me close to tears, which I know is a weird reaction but I have a history of being abused, hit and yelled at as a child, so I'm terrible when people get in my face or raise their voices. I also have ADHD so it may be rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)? Regardless, he obviously didn't know so I just tried to manage my own reaction, swallowed back tears, and calmed myself down in the toilet. When I went back, we chatted normally, but internally I was still a little shaken.

I then made an offhand comment on how the waitress serving us had great service and I would love to hire her if she was in my city, and when he questioned me, I said that our company tends to pay our sales team 30% above market price so we could retain one of the best/biggest sales force in our (albeit tiny) city. Then he started grilling me and questioning me like "Really? C'mon. Your company? What statistics do you have to back it up? Tell me, give it to me right now. You can't right? I find the way you talk about your company quite arrogant and maybe think about being more humble". Which was ironic to me because he's one of the cockiest/most arrogant person I know. He could also see that I was losing my already shaky grasp of my emotions when I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and said "Ok. I don't want to talk about work now, but if you really want it, I will send you the statistics during working hours. So can we just leave it?" and he kept pushing saying, "No, just give me the statistics now. Why can't you give it to me now? Ok, give it to me first thing Monday morning then. First thing. Ok, I can see you're getting pissed, if you want to leave this dinner right now, I can call you a cab and you can get your suitcase and go to the airport now."

And then tears started spilling out - I was so mortified but I couldn't help myself. And I said "Ok, maybe I should get my stuff and go", and he replied with "Wow, speaking of fragile. You're really a baby, so predictable. When you're uncomfortable you're so emotionally unstable'". (I forget his exact wording, it was kind of a traumatic blur)

But I was feeling really overwhelmed so I didn't stand up, and I also didn't want to give him the satisfaction of chalking my reaction up to "oh she's just another crazy woman", so I explained the past child abuse. His response to that was "She ruined your life. You should beat her up. Why didn't your parents notice? Do you resent them for 'failing' you?". He didn't apologize or anything, and for the next 30 minutes I just tried to get the tears under wraps and finished dinner with him.

At the end of dinner I had to catch my flight, so we went back to his apartment, he called me a cab and I got my stuff and left to the airport. I called my best friend and promptly burst into tears. Something about this whole evening felt really traumatic and I couldn't stop tearing up. Sorry this got SO INCREDIBLY LONG.

Can someone tell me if I'm being way too sensitive and emotional, or if my feelings were right in trying to tell me something I wasn't seeing about the situation? I can't get any perspective on this and I keep questioning if I blew this completely out of proportion, and maybe this is normal in French courtship and the culture gap went completely over my head?

TL;DR: visited a long-distance person I've been dating for the past 2 months. He's been making jokes that puts me and my job down. Then over dinner, when he got kind of in my face, he accidentally triggered a response due to past child abuse, and I ended up crying. He didn't apologize, and evening ended with me leaving for the airport to catch my flight back to my city.

More background information: I'm a really easygoing person, and I understood he was under a lot of pressure at work so for the most part, I was willing to go along with his existing plans (i.e. a work event, showing up with him to a client's new opening) or when he asked if we could hang out with his friends (i.e. dinner at his friend's restaurant, drinks with his friends at their place), etc. It was also a way for me to be a part of his life and observe him in his environment, but he kept saying that I'm "very accommodating" and when I asked him if it was a compliment, he said "I'm not sure". It was a little hurtful because while I can handle myself well in social situations, I can be a bit of an introvert, so it took energy and stress to be in so many unfamiliar situations and out of my own comfort zone, e.g. trying to be likable with his friends, making sure I'm not embarrassing him at work events, etc. Another two things that kind of bothered me was:

1. Whenever we're hanging with his friends, they all speak French and he doesn't really make a big effort to include me or consistently translate for me. A few of his friends on the other hand, are amazing and will tell everyone else to speak English for me, which I really appreciated.
2. He had tickets to see Avengers Endgame, and while I'm not a huge fan, I assumed he's a big fan so I assured him that it's fine if he wants to go with his friend and I can entertain myself. But then just before the movie, I find out he's not actually a fan, he just likes the movies. But anyway, I let it pass and hang out by myself for 4.5 hours.

Submitted May 05, 2019 at 10:38PM by sealionsroar http://bit.ly/2UYYj6p