This in all likelihood makes me seem like an asshole and I feel like an asshole. I was living in Berlin for two years, having a great time. There I had tonnes of great friends, a pretty ok job, a nice apartment and a relationship. I really felt like this was me starting my real adult life
During that time, my mother got cancer. I travelled back and forth almost every month to visit, but it became apparent that this was not going to be sufficient. My dad who has always had an explosive temper made zero effort to support my mother and just continued to be difficult to live with. Nobody helped with house work or cooking, it was all left to her despite my dad and brother being there. Eventually my mother started ignoring my calls and getting her friends to tell me how awful I was for not coming home, and also told me she would not continue with her treatment if I didn't come home and start training on the career path she wanted. So I did move home, left my entire life behind.
Fast forward a year, and my mother is clear from cancer which is great but has been left with significant health problems from the treatment which will be lifelong. My brother has now moved out, and I am stuck at 26 living with my parents. I am in an extremely high powered job that leaves me exhausted but rent is too expensive in my city to merit paying. My home country/city is so small that everyone knows everyone, it's very homogenous in terms of who lives there (compared to Berlin which had so much diversity) and there is very little to do. I have no real friends outside of colleagues I don't particularly like, and no prospect of a relationship because the gay scene is non existent here. I have never felt so lonely in my whole life.
For the past year I've basically just worked and stayed in my room all weekend to avoid my constantly arguing parents. I feel like my life has drawn to a halt and there's no way out. I can't quit my job for another two years , can't move back to berlin, can't afford to rent here. I'm just overwhelmed with regret and I find myself so angry at my family for taking everything away from me and then feeling horribly selfish for being angry
Tldr : my life was great abroad, my mom got cancer so I moved back in with them, now she is mostly recovered but I am trapped here and incredibly angry at everyone
Submitted May 06, 2019 at 03:45AM by duvetday94 http://bit.ly/2YaUWeO
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