I’m sorry in advance for the long rant.
My boyfriend’s sister is a narcissist and I don’t know how to deal with it. We are the same age and we work in the same restaurant. Her mom’s boyfriend is the manager of said restaurant and that’s how we both got the job.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and have spent a lot of time with his family over the years but have never had a very good relationship with his sister. Sometimes she would be nice and then other times she would blatantly ignore me or make snide remarks about me while I was in the room as if I wasn’t there. It always upset me that everyone in their family including my boyfriend had had it made clear, whether directly or indirectly that the one purpose of everyone was to serve his sister, basically she is a princess. Even if it is at the expense of their own happiness and emotional wellbeing, if it will make her happy, they must do it. We go to the same university and I see how she interacts with strangers and friends. She is quite popular and has carefully preened this sort of sweet, relatable down-to-earth girl image.
However, the way she acts at home is completely different. She treats her mom’s boyfriend like crap despite the fact that he adores her. She makes nasty remarks about how annoying he is and how no one likes him. She clicks her fingers and expects to be chauffeured around, she leaves all the household chores to her brother (my boyfriend) and her mom’s boyfriend, they both work 6 days a week but she can’t do her own laundry because she has college and gets a period once a month (like every woman ever 🙄). My boyfriend works 2 jobs and works 6, sometimes 7 days a week but obviously her time is worth much more, even during his evenings off, he is still expected to pick her up and drop her off. Just to clarify also that there is a perfectly functional and safe public transport system where we live. My boyfriend’s mom says that there’s nothing they can do about it because if she says anything, her daughter will get really angry.
She works at the restaurant when it suits her, e.g during college times she is “too busy” (I am also a college student), then during the summer she clicks her fingers and gets 5 shifts a week and the other staff barely receive a single shift a week. She receives an insane amount of scholarship and government assistance money a month and divides them amongst several bank accounts and takes money off her family whenever she wants it because she’s “broke”. She saves up for multiple holidays a year with friends. She expects money from her family under the guise that she will one day buy her mom a house, but she is so mean and sneaky about her money that it is an obvious lie. You probably think is bizarre how I know so much but she is extremely open in front of her family and it is very apparent that she does not care about my opinion of her because it would have no affect on her outside image, I don’t know her friends.
Her mom’s boyfriend (our manager) is a really sweet, caring man, who wouldn’t hurt a fly and just to clarify that I have actually been alone with him in their house on several occasions. However a girl at work started rumors that the reason her mom and her boyfriend took a break a couple months ago was because he was inappropriately touching my boyfriends sister. This wasn’t the case and everyone in the family said it wasn’t true, even his sister, but the reason she wouldn’t stand up for him was because “He’s not our problem anymore”, meanwhile he was still expected to chauffeur her around whenever she wanted and to stock up the house with toiletries and her favorite iced tea.
Whenever my boyfriend tries to confront her about her poor behavior, it is apparent that she reacts according to her environment: at home when no one is watching she shouts and tells him to fuck off, in public she lays it on thick, sobbing and hyperventilating. She will not allow for any criticism and must always be the victim. She’s honestly like an evil genius, its disturbing.
This whole situation makes me feel really sad, angry and frustrated because I just have to sit and watch my boyfriend and my manager (who honestly feels almost like a step dad to me) get treated like absolute crap. For my boyfriends 21st, he got a “Happy birthday” and some money (nothing to be scoffed at, that’s a really nice gift) but his sisters 21st was planned months in advance, she had an all expenses paid trip abroad and several individual gifts (of which her mom’s boyfriend paid a considerable amount). My boyfriend is a really good guy and a good son, so he doesn’t complain but it hurts to see the blatant disregard of his feelings and favoritism. His mom is also really open about the fact that his real dad always hated him but adored his sister. There are so many more details, I could rant on and on but I condensed it the best I could. I don’t know how to deal with my anger and I hate having to sit quiet and hear her bullshit. It honestly drives me mad.
TL;DR Boyfriend’s sister is an evil genius and a narcissist. Treats everyone behind closed doors like crap but acts sweet and innocent to everyone else. Boyfriend must drop everything to make her happy and his own feelings are never considered. Don’t know how to deal with my emotions concerning this issue.
Edit: I’m going to copy and paste this to a comment as well. Thank you to every one who left a comment, it really means a lot, I know in some aspects I may not come off in a very good light and I’m constantly aware that it’s not my business, and I’ve put myself in a position where I have given myself a front row seat for this stuff. It is something that has made me angry and frustrated for a while and no matter how unreasonable and/ ridiculous those emotions may be I just really wanted to get another persons opinion on the situation. I am studying for a final exam at the moment so I will aim to close the thread soon.
Submitted May 07, 2019 at 04:29AM by purple-hydrangea http://bit.ly/2YdanTw
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