I've been with DH for 5 years now, married for 3 of them. He was the best BF any girl could ask for, specifically for a hopeless romantic like myself. He used to always be the first one there whenever I needed him, he would help me with anything I needed help with, he would surprise me with little things multiple times a month, he would help with chores and with our LO.
All this was untill few months ago, he started going out with his friends and stay out all day. Everyone would ask me why he's spending so much time away from home, friends and family all have noticed and commented since we were inseparable. He still insists that he only goes out with his friends for maximum of 2 hours.
I tried to approach him calmly and have a calm conversation, he said it's because I don't help with chores, so starting that day and till now I've been doing all the chores myself. But still nothing changed ! He was still distant and detached, he was still uninterested in long conversations about the world and science and all the things we used to find great pleasure talking about.
I tried to talk to him once more, he said it's because I don't help with the baby, I'm working on 3 different businesses and he's a SAHD, I took time off work and started caring for LO alone, and when I went back to work we hired a nanny. Still, as weeks went by, no change what so ever.
I tried again to talk to him, he said it's because I'm short tempered and would lash out about the smallest things, I'm definitely not at all, but I still went to anger management classes, and took up meditation, everyone was commenting on how much more calm and content I was looking, everyone did, except for him, ofcourse, nothing changed !
I tried talking again, he told me he spends all day out cause he's bored at home, whenever I'm home all I do is just stay on my phone all the time, he knows that most of my work is done through my phone and social media. Still, I implemented a rule of no phones after 9 pm. Ofcourse he was the one that kept breaking that rule, as he just can't put his phone down.
I talked to him again, he said I should lighten up and go out more and have fun, I told him I'd come with him and we can both have fun together, he said where he goes is a guy's place and no girls hang out there, I told him to go somewhere we can both hangout, he said that's where his friends like to hang out.
I tried to convince him to go to online couple's counselling, since we don't have real counsellers in my country, he said we don't have problems that big to go to ask him out on dates, but he always has an excuse.
I tried to ask my mom to talk to him, since he loves and respects her alot, he was so shut down and wouldn't let her talk to him and just said I'm always on my phone, she ended up saying that maybe it's because I gained weight after giving birth, and don't give too much attention for my looks, lol, I didn't know that's why he was in love with me.
This man used to be my bestfriend in the whole world, he was the most romantic, considerate, sensitive, helpful, interesting person I've ever met, he was the love of my life and now I feel that love draining from my heart. I had an honest conversation with him, I let myself be vulnerable, I cried, I told him how he made me feel, how hard I'm trying, I told him I fear that one day I might stop loving him and we can never go back from there. He just hugged me in silence. But then the following weeks, nothing changed !
I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm out of options, I packed my bags, and now I'm just sitting here, waiting for something that I don't know, maybe an answer ?!!
TL;DR : my husband has changed so much, I think I've done everything possible to know why and deal with it, it never changes.
Submitted May 02, 2019 at 05:49AM by liberalAlien http://bit.ly/2PJZ2qY
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