GF (21F) of 3 months has come out to me (21M) as trans (FtM), and I’m worried about the future of our relationship.

I will be referring to my GF as “A” for this post, and using female pronouns, as she has expressed to me that a) she isn’t 100% sure she’s transgender yet, and b) she still wants me to use female pronouns for her until further notice.

Anyway, some background: A and I have been dating for about 3 months now. She is bi, and I’m straight but have been questioning my sexuality recently (possibly bi). Unfortunately, I have some trauma with a childhood experience, that has made it difficult for me to accept whether I am attracted to men or not. I had basically accepted that I would just stick to girls for the foreseeable future, since I had so many conflicting feelings about dating/being intimate with men. I felt I had found away to get past my trauma, and my childhood experience had not bothered me for years.

A couple days ago, A told me she was seriously considering transitioning FtM. I was the first person she had come out to. Honestly, I didn’t see it coming, but once she said it, a lot of things made sense. She says she’s still not 100% sure, but I’m guessing that she will end up transitioning. I’m excited, knowing that this will potentially bring her a lot of happiness, and she seems so much more comfortable as a he. However, we talked about what this meant for us, because she knows about my history and mixed feelings about being with a man. She was actually convinced that I was going to break up with her on the spot, but I told her I was willing to try it out and that I love her too much to just give up. I also told her that if things don’t work out, I still want to be there for her as a friend, because I have other friends who are transitioning and I know how hard it can be. I genuinely thought at the time that us continuing to date as men wouldn’t be that hard for me, though. That night we had sex, and A wanted to try out being a boy, having me call her a new name she had picked out. I really liked it at first, but the moment we finished, all these traumatic feelings I hadn’t felt since I was younger came back, and I started having a panic attack. She helped me through it, but now I’m worried that I can’t give her the relationship she wants. Does anyone have any general advice, especially those who have had a partner transition, or maybe have gotten over some childhood trauma with the same sex?

TL;DR My GF has come out to me as FtM trans. I think I’m bi, but having had a traumatic same-sex experience as a child, I never considered the possibility of me being with a man, and now that I am, I’m worried that I won’t be able to get over my past to give my partner the love they deserve.

Submitted May 05, 2019 at 01:54PM by MedievalKenevil http://bit.ly/2J1TyHK