This story is going to be one hell of a ride, I’m going to summarize it as much as I can. It’s been some of the most stressful times of my life.
I met my fiancé 2 1/2 years ago. We were inseparable. He proposed to me, I said yes. We soon moved in together. Things were fantastic. The first time it happened was my 21st birthday night. He was 20 years old at the time. We went to a club at the beach with his aunt and uncle. I bought him his under 21 wristband so he could enjoy the live music, just not drink. We pregamed so we were already drunk when we got there.
Well he kept disappearing most of the night into like the bathroom or the corner somewhere by himself on his phone. I was getting hit on by random people and I kept looking around for him so he could tell them to leave me alone after I had already tried, but he was nowhere in sight. He grabbed my drink at one point and took a sip, and they tossed him out for underage drinking. We drunkenly walked back to our hotel. He was acting strange. I asked him to watch a movie with me in our room but he said no, and played fortnite on his gaming laptop that he’d brought instead. He was also on and off his phone. I went downstairs to get something out of the car, and when I came back he was on his phone again. I’d had enough of him being weird and I looked to see what he was doing, and it blew my mind. He was on a secret Instagram account he created with the username of “koala21214” (not the real username, i changed it for privacy reasons.) He was messaging his ex girlfriend. “Koala” was her pet name and 2-12-14 was the day they got together. I was so confused.. and embarrassed. There were only about 4 messages between them, as he just started messaging her. (Her asking why he was doing that, and that he’s crazy.) When I asked him what the fuck he was doing, he went crazy. He punched a hole in the wall and smashed his phone into pieces.
It was a whirlwind of bullshit, and I was at loss for words on what to say or how to comprehend or even why he would do something like that, especially on my 21st birthday. I ended up forgiving him, I reasoned it with he was drunk and being immature, we had also just moved in together and I wanted to keep my commitment to him as he’d been great otherwise.
I had a hard time getting over it, I had anxiety in the relationship after that. I always thought he was doing something behind my back, and it was very hard to get over it. I eventually started trusting him again, and then he went to his nursing school orientation 7 months later.
He met this blonde girl (I will call her Jenny.) He scoured Facebook for her name but couldn’t find her. I started feeling anxious again and he told me there wasn’t anything to worry about he just wanted to see if he knew her because he told me he thinks they went to high school together. His first day of school comes around, and he goes to class. I find out Jenny has a serious boyfriend and I feel so much relief. I was so wrong.
They ended up flirting, getting close, not to my knowledge. He started going to class super early, and Bringing cologne, his toothbrush and toothpaste, and dry shampoo to school. when I asked him why he’d do that, he told me he wants to be clean for his patients. It was so fucking weird, I knew something was up. Rent and our electric was due soon, so I checked his bank account to see if it was already paid. I noticed charges to food places that were way more expensive than just food for one. When I confronted him, he called me controlling and crazy. I knew he was full of shit. He eventually turned off his text notifications and changed his phone password, and blocked all of his nursing school contacts. I KNEW he was lying at this point. One night, the last night I’d ever have at MY apartment, I told him something wasn’t right and I just wanted the truth. He didn’t give me the truth, instead he told me to get out by the morning, he told me that he was tired of ME hounding him. Then, he slept peacefully beside me.
I was fucking shattered. How could he just force me out of my own apartment? The next morning he didn’t give a shit while I packed all of my stuff and took my Decour off the walls carefully. I begged him to not do this to me but he didn’t care. He watched me cry and leave my apartment complex for the last time. Then the very next night my neighbor calls me and tells me that she just saw them at a fancy restaurant together and they went back to the apartment. I was shattered as I sat back at my parents house at loss for words, how could this have happened to me? Jenny had a boyfriend at the time as well, did he know?
I texted him that he was a piece of shit liar and that our neighbor saw them together. He said that they didn’t do anything except study and go get something to eat. I knew he was lying but my heart was broken. The next two months were filled with him manipulating me and using me for sex because I was so hurt and desperate to repair our relationship again, while he was also hanging out with Jenny everyday and hiding it from me.
I messaged jenny on Facebook and asked her if anything was going on between them and she denied it, so I believed he was serious about changing and repairing the pain he’d caused. Eventually I got an Instagram message from jenny about one month later. She told me everything and apologized for hurting me the way that she did, she told me that they had fucked three times she had slept over she sent me pictures of them doing all of the things that we used to do. She told me she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he started talking to her best friend and they fooled around and hung out, he even slept in her bed one night and who knows what happened there. There were also three other girls that I knew about that he was hanging out with and messaging asking to go to dinner with, these girls told me this because they thought we were still engaged and they wanted me to know.
I was shocked to say the least, I can’t comprehend why somebody would do this and lied so much.
He came back around again and told me that he has changed and he’s truly sorry and wants a serious relationship with me again and I feel so weak at this moment and it seems like he’s trying to worm himself back into my life, I truly don’t know how I feel. He has sent me gifts and told me I can go through his phone at anytime, he has begged for me back. He told me the grass was never greener on the other side and that he broke up with me because he wanted to be single and lost feelings for me, but he realized he loved me.
He lost feelings for me but kept me around for sex and other manipulation. He told me my insecurities caused this (I was never insecure until he made a fake account to talk to his ex.)
Can anyone help me make any sense of this? Is this some form of narcissism ?
I can’t sleep at night and I’ve lost so much. The worst part is I got kicked out of my nursing school (mainly failing due to distractions by him, depression and anxiety due to him) and he and Jenny are in nursing school now.. they were talking about how I’d never become a nurse and I was a failure. I am living back at my parents and have spiraled into depression, working a dead end job until I hopefully can start back in school in July.
Tl;dr: My ex fiancé cheated on me with five women and forced me to move back in with my dad, has blamed it on me, and now wants me back
Edit: Thanks so much for all of your responses, messages, etc. You guys are very encouraging and keeping me strong. Although this situation is garbage right now, I know somehow and someway everything’s going to be okay. I appreciate all of you. ❤️
Submitted May 03, 2019 at 02:04AM by dogsandcats0123 http://bit.ly/2VcID4l
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