I have been friends with my (former) best girlfriend for over 15 years and at this point I can no longer say she is my best friend. I admit, I’ve moved around the country (US) but I always made time for her and kept in touch. She’s had a horrific time in life, her dad left us by choice way too early, and her husband hasn’t been mentally stable. I thought I was being a support to her and hearing her troubles. She knows when I thought she was wrong; but I always made sure to let her know I supported her no matter what.
Recently I moved back to the same city we grew up in and I incorrectly assumed our relationship would pick up where it had left off. We’re at completely different points of life; She’s obviously created a new set of friends through work and time, and I have kids and she wishes she did. Additionally she’s made some life choices including leaving our religion and infidelity. I made it clear that I still loved her and supported her choices to make herself happy, but she chose to let that be a barrier. She kept things from me on multiple occasions assuming I would judge her and it wasn’t the case when it came out; I was just hurt she chose to confide in others and outright lied to me rather than being honest which we always had been in the past.
Over the last few months I’ve asked her to hang out at least 5 times and she either puts me off or cancels last minute. I feel like an idiot: I wish she would just tell me so I don’t look like some sort of desperate friend. I want to be close to her again and I thought that our history would be a bridge towards strengthening our relationship but I’m the only one trying. Perhaps my honesty and effort put her off and she just wants to start fresh. I really don’t know because she’s pretty much ghosted me.
I honestly love her as a friend, and that deeply hurts In a way I’ve never felt before. I know her family as my own and am so gutted by her desertion but it’s clear she wants nothing from me anymore so I’ll leave her in peace. Anyone else out there had a friend of the heart move on before they were ready to let go? I guess you may make new friends, but how could you build the same history?
TL;DR female friend of 15+ years throws away friendship and it hurts more than any other romantic relationship that has ended in past
Submitted May 05, 2019 at 06:33PM by crispy4014 http://bit.ly/2H3hebv
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