My husband is settling into middle age and got rid of his last trace of youth - his hair. He cut it and dyed it back to its original color. While I always loved his long hair, I think the short hair suits him much better. He doesn't feel the same, however. He regrets cutting it but at the same time he thinks he needed to do it. According to him, having long hair as an older man makes you look "pathetic" because your hair starts to recede and thin. He also thinks he's ugly now because his face shows signs of aging. He actually told me that he would understand if I'm no longer attracted to him. I quickly squashed that thought by telling him that I found him sexier than ever. He laughed and said "well if looks were everything in a relationship, then we wouldn't have been together anyway."
I agreed at first but then asked him to explain what he meant. That's when he tells me he never found me physically attractive. In fact, he and his friends had given me an unflattering nickname because of how ugly I was back in college. I asked him how the hell did we end up dating and getting married if he found me so unattractive. He said it was because of my personality. We had were partners on a project and hung out a few times which is how he discovered I was an "amazing person." We also share about 90% of the same hobbies/interests. He said this more than made up for my lack of physical appeal. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I got mad and told him to get out. He did. He went to his brother's. He called me later and asked me if I was still mad. I am so we are spending some time apart.
We have been married for 20 years. I know looks aren't everything but I feel so insulted. To hear your lifelong mate say this is such a kick in the face. My self esteem is shot and I feel like I've wasted my life with him. Couldn't I have found someone who would've love both my looks and personality?
TL;DR My husband doesn't find me physically attractive. Only dated me because I have a good personality
Submitted March 31, 2019 at 09:08PM by an_upset_wife https://ift.tt/2I363l6
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