My [21f] best friends [20f 21f] think I do too many dangerous things. I think I can take care of myself.

I have a very different comfort level with a lot of things, compared to my friends.

I grew up way out in the boonies. Most everyone hunted, with rifles or crossbows, it was really normal for people to concealed carry, or to carry a pocketknife. I'm pretty comfortable using power tools, I helped my parents with a lot of house maintenance as a kid and they taught me how to use tools. I went camping a lot as a kid, my parents let me go out camping with my friends unsupervised when I was like 13. We'd sometimes go without tents because sometimes we didn't have enough tents and it didn't seem fair to be sleeping in a tent while my friends went without.

Overall, everyone I grew up with had to be pretty self reliant. We were out somewhere remote enough that police and fire response were like 45 minutes away. No cell service most everywhere either. Had to learn how to end a confrontation without being able to call for help. I once put out a house fire myself after a lamp had caught fire and it spread to a table, wall, and couch. I never thought any of that was unusual, it was just life to me. Then I went to college, and it turns out that it is pretty unusual.

My two best friends in college are Sara and Kelly. Sara grew up in a suburb of Boston, and Kelly grew up in a suburb in Connecticut. They've not been camping, or hunting, or ever been somewhere that they felt like they couldn't rely on the police to show up very quickly.

A lot of the time, they've been worried about me because of stuff that I say and treat as normal. One time I mentioned how I almost cut off my left ring finger with a bandsaw as an 11 year old, and Sara was really really shocked to hear that.

I also mentioned being annoyed how my parents don't want smoke alarms in the house. They got annoyed by how often they got set off when getting the wood burning stove going. But it sucked because I worried about my parents sleeping through a fire. Both of them were really shocked to hear that I was so blase about that.

It's not just hearing old stories that makes them worried, they also tell me that some stuff I do currently is dangerous. I still carry a pocketknife because it's useful, and Sara was concerned about the legality. (It's legal) and also about me hurting myself (It locks closed). I also will go camping on a moment's notice sometimes when I'm stressed and want to get away. I've got a backpack that I keep all my gear in, so all I have to do is throw some clorhes, food and a map of wherever I'll be hiking in, and I'm ready to go. Both of them have criticized me for going off to the woods alone when I'm upset, and no amount of saying that I'm able to take care of myself has helped. (Edit - I always send my dad a map of my planned hike, and tell him to call the police and forest rangers if he doesn't hear from me by the time I plan on returning)

If I want to go to an event like a concert or something, I'll be just as comfortable going alone as I would be with a friend, and Sara and Kelly just don't understand that.

I basically thought they might change their minds over time once they see I can take care of myself, but honestly the opposite has happened. The more they see of my life, the more worried they get.

I don't hate them for that, but it's gotten so frustrating. They think I'm brushing them off by saying I can take care of myself, but I don't mean to be doing that. I don't know how to make them comfortable without totally changing the way I live, and the way my family lives.

BTW I don't want to end these friendships. The three of us are very close, I'm not angry with them or offended at all, I just don't know how to work through this.

TLDR - My friends think I do stuff that's dangerous, I don't agree but I can't stop them worrying.

Submitted November 15, 2018 at 08:35AM by twixxiepixie https://ift.tt/2RQbTru