TL;DR. My ex won't leave me alone and I'm really frustrated by how much I'm having to modify my life to maintain no contact.
We had a tumultuous relationship that lasted about 3 years. I loved him dearly, but I just couldn't make it work. We were fundamentally incompatible and I was a mess feeling like I was always struggling to be heard.
Fast forward eight months, and I'm still struggling to get him out of my life. I've been the recipient of many emails and texts generally telling me what a shitty person I am. To make this more confusing for myself, I was torn because we had a genuine connection and had fun when we weren't fighting. My attempts at no contact would fall through. He was so persistent with emails, texts, contacting me various social medias. I would be having a weak and lonely moment, or he would say something particularly incendiary and I would respond. We'd fight it out and then go back to trying to be friends.
Being friends didn't even work out that well. At first, it was like we were having a never-ending closure discussion. Then he supposedly got over it and switched tactics. He would praise me, tell me I'm the greatest, then follow it up with telling me how he thought I needed to improve, what I did wrong in relationships, etc. He'd also send me all of these texts about what kind of person he thought I would end up with. It was just too much for my brain. I was genuinely heartbroken over the relationship and was still grieving. I couldn't take the constant reminders from him and I asked him repeatedly to stop. Just like when we actually were dating, my mental health was suffering. On what felt like the 20th time I asked for it, he gave me an ultimatum. Either he's allowed to say whatever he wants, or we can't be friends. I agreed that we can't be friends and we had a solid month of no contact.
Within the past few weeks, he has tried re-initiating contact with some emails and texts. I responded to one of them and repeated why I wished for no contact. He just responded by telling me I was wrong and what happened, didn't. It's like we have completely different memories of what transpired. This is pretty typical behavior of him and I didn't respond. I'm really trying to maintain no-contact. I switched my messaging app to one that actually deletes the messages from blocked people. I rerouted my email through a service that better filters out "spam". But now he's creeping on my reddit and responding to the same posts I do. And to top it off, he RSVPd to a meetup just a few hours after I did. Reddit and meetup was not something he participated in until recently. I am extremely frustrated with how much I am having to renegotiate my life because of him. I don't post on social media, don't have profiles on dating apps, have had to get this new reddit profile, and cancelled the meetup that I wanted to go to. That one stings especially because I have a hard time socializing and now he's infringing on one of the ways that I was comfortable doing so. Mostly, I'm just really pissed off that he's still having an effect on my life.
Submitted November 27, 2018 at 08:40AM by nerdy_biznitch https://ift.tt/2QliiOt
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