I'm on mobile with poor internet connection. This is going to be a long story; sorry in advance!
I have been dating my boyfriend T for about 1.5 years now and we decided it was time to meet families. He is typically very kind and thoughtful but we have had some bumps in our relationship.
His parents are divorced with their own families so we decided to take two weeks to see both sides of his family. Due to his father's schedule, we planned to spend the first couple days with his mom's side, five days through Thanksgiving with his dad, and then back with his mom's for a week. For further background, his mom has a lot of medical issues that make her act very immature and he can't spend more than an hour with her before becoming annoyed.
I also have some anxiety issues which I am currently trying to get under control. I have been anxious about this trip for half a year since we planned it because I see a future with T. I spoke with him about my worries and he was fully aware that I am very nervous meeting people and especially two big families in two weeks. We talked about it all before coming here.
The second day, we woke up and were spending some time with his mom's family when his grandpa and stepdad asked if he wanted to go hunting with them. He decided to go and was gone within 15 minutes, leaving me alone with his mom, grandma, and sister. I was still getting to know them and it caused me to have a little bit of a breakdown as he was leaving me here. I admit I may have overreacted, but I didn't want him to go and leave me so soon. He ended up being gone for two days and stayed the night at their hunting camp. I tried really hard to stay positive and got to know the women in his family.
Once he returned, I explained that it felt unfair of him to leave me like that. He explained that he was so excited to get time to himself that he didn't think of anything else. So he essentially didn't consider how it felt to me when he left.
We got through the next week together and it has been fun. We got back to his mom's family on Sunday night and he decided to go back hunting on Monday morning to return tonight. I again expressed that I didn't want to spend three days alone with his mom. She is very kind but she was starting to annoy me as well. Right before he was leaving he asked if I wanted to go with him, but it didn't seem like a genuine offer. I decided to stay behind so he could spend time with his family.
Yesterday, I took his Mom to the store and offered to make dinner because she didn't have a plan and couldn't decide what to make. We got everything we needed for what I was going to make. When his grandma found out what I was making, she complained that she didn't like it. I said I didn't have to make it, it had just been an offer. His mom pouted and essentially said I was making it no matter what.
I started to prep for dinner and discovered his grandma didn't have the flour I needed. His grandma got a little snippy about it, so I offered to go to the store and said I wanted to go alone real quick. I just wanted to vent to T for a second and have 30 minutes to myself for the first time this trip. His mother refused to let me go alone. I begged her to just leave me alone so I could go alone and she instead climbed into my car. My anxiety was at an all time high and I started crying, unfortunately. I drove to the store while she told me I had no reason to be upset and should just cheer up. I texted T and told him I was feeling upset and just needed to be alone but I had no where to go and they wouldn't let me be alone.
I made the dinner still upset and called T while it was simmering. I discovered that he had texted his mom telling her she was being inappropriate and she needed to leave me alone. Queue his mom bawling asking me what I was telling her son. She called him and they screamed at each other on the phone about me, in front of me.
I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
I spent the night comforting his mom and trying to talk everyone down because the entire family thought I was trying to start a fight and create a rift between T and his family.
Today, I'm just laying on the couch trying to ignore his mom constantly bugging me and telling me to be more excited and happy. T called me super happy from hunting because he got a deer and asked me to stay out with his mom late tonight so he can go hang out with an old friend before we leave tomorrow.
I'm at a loss for how I should be feeling right now. Am I overreacting to everything? Or am I justified in feeling like this trip was an unfair expectation?
Thanks!
TL;DR I came to meet my boyfriend's family. Despite social anxieties, he left me alone with his family to go hunting. After discussing everything, it happened again and I ended up in the middle of a huge fight which I had to diffuse.
Submitted November 29, 2018 at 08:52AM by throwaway37474728 https://ift.tt/2DTroLU
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