Hey there people! I love my boyfriend dearly, but ever since we got together I've gained 50 pounds, and I'm extremely unhappy. I'll go into further detail down below.
I met my boyfriend when he was in college; I'm still finishing up my undergrad and he graduated last year. We've been dating for three and a half years now. I've loved every single moment of it, but there's many factors going into this, and honestly I don't know how to broach the subject.
The thing about my boyfriend is that he's naturally skinny, a fairly tall man. Fast metabolism, and on top of that, he won't eat much. He does however; drink plenty of soda, and eat tons of candy. Despite his terrible diet, he always manages to stay lean. He can still keep up in running somewhere whenever he's late (even if this means running across campus) . In his family, meals were basically frozen anything, to whatever his parents gave him. It's weird. His family doesn't eat much, maybe like two meals a day? It's what he's used to I guess. Outside of that he games a lot, and doesn't do much exercise.
Me on the other hand, I am a short, and now obese girl. To stay fit I know I require healthy eating and exercise. If I'm not careful, my weight fluctuates all over the place. Sadly, unlike him I wasn't blessed with the genetic lottery and gain weight fast. In my home we also eat two meals, but we will have healthy meals, and healthy snacks in between. Rarely drank soda or ate sweets. I used to go out for runs every day. During my leisure, my family would try to go on walks to get extra exercise, as well as enjoy each other's company. By nature I am a very lazy person, being around supportive people, like my family gets me motivated though.
When I first got to college I continued this routine, but then my depression hit and sometime around then I got with my boyfriend. I felt unmotivated to go and do my routine, and it felt so much easier to stay in with him. I got more into gaming, I started to eat like my boyfriend did. For my body though, it wasn't working out. My weight ballooned, I attempted to work out again but I felt immensely unmotivated, so I would quit. My boyfriend teases me about it every time I mention I want to start again, along the lines of "that will happen when pigs fly". Unlike my parents, when I mention outdoor things, like going for a walk, he expresses no interest. It's already pretty difficult for us to hangout because of schedule conflicts, and any free time he does have he usually wants to unwind by playing video games. I'll usually join in instead of going out for a jog because I want to spend time with him.
Whenever I mention eating healthier that's where the going gets tough. My BF is an extremely picky eater and won't eat veggies. It's a tough situation because we'll usually eat together to avoid spending too much, and the meals that he does enjoy are relatively unhealthy. When we do eat, he'll beak out snacks and soda soon enough. I feel like ever since I got with him I've been addicted to soda. I completely understand that I have the responsibility of saying no, but now that I'm hooked on it, it's hard to refuse when it's around. In this case its always around because it's his go to drink.
Now I'm almost 50 pounds heavier, I went from a size medium to a size XL. I'm starting to feel the health repercussions, not only do I have hypertension but I've stopped getting my period, and now I've developed thicker facial hair. I'm pretty sure my weight gain has caused me to develop PCOS, and now my libido is suffering as a result. This lowered sex drive is starting to affect our sex life, I can see it. I can't take estrogen because of the hypertension. The best thing for me to do would be to the shed the weight. Given the environment though, I feel like taking the first steps is proving to be difficult.
The worst part of it all is that whenever I mention my weight my boyfriend insists that he sees no difference. That I'm not fat. That I don't need to change. I don't think he's trying to be manipulative, I just think he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. As much as he's keeping a straight face, I need him to see it too.
I know I can do this, I just need support. His willingness to try new dishes, or to go on walks with me every once in a while instead of only doing sedentary things. Or when I express interest in working out to not make it seem like it's the end of the world. I want to feel normal again. But I feel as if our lifestyle needs are on opposite ends of the spectrum. I know I'm to blame, he didn't force me to not go out and exercise, nor to guzzle down the soda, but losing weight and being around him is going to be extremely difficult if he can't try to meet me some of the way (an enabler of sorts?) . What do I do?? My health is dwindling but I love him. How do I talk about this in a way where it doesn't sound like I'm blaming him?
TL;DR I'm extremely overweight, my boyfriend won't recognize it. How can I open him up to the idea of making lifestyle changes?
Submitted November 28, 2018 at 03:20AM by OutsideTesco https://ift.tt/2SkFGcl
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