My (F/24) relationship with my boyfriend (M/25) has always felt odd and awkward. It started out as a FWB thing that turned into a relationship a year later. During that whole time, I understood he really liked me but had a problem with commitment. No big deal but it still made me feel insecure. I let him know and after a big life change, we were in a relationship and living together.
It’s been over 3 years since we started out as FWB. It’s been over 2 years since we’ve been an actual couple and he’s never said the L word to me. I’ve recently let him know how disappointing it is to me.
The thing is, before he met me, he had a hard time being sexual with anyone because he was still stuck on his ex. It was about 4/5 years later when he met me since after his break up with her. We had talked about this prior and while we still have great sex to this day, it’s something I’m happy about. I’m happy that he can be intimate with me but deep down, I feel like he’s still stuck on his ex and that’s the reason why he has not said the L word to me.
Out of the 3 years we’ve been in each other’s lives, this year was the first year he gifted me something on my birthday. While I’m happy that he has finally gifted me something, I’m a bit disappointed because it’s not what I asked for. Financially, I make almost double what he does. I didn’t ask for anything extravagant because I know he’s been tight on cash. I asked for something that I’ve bought before for $8. This item can be purchased for way more money for something made with more quality but it can also be purchased at a budgeted price. My SO doesn’t know a whole lot about this item that I asked for but one of his best friends loves and collects what I asked for so I thought a simple conversation with this friend would help my SO find what I asked for.
Instead, I received a tshirt. And while I opened it he said “I felt bad about buying one for myself so I bought one for you too”. So it’s not like he bought this with me and my birthday in mind. It was more of a purchase out of guilt. He said he’d still get me what I asked for....
The day of my birthday comes around and he said he’d take me to a store to get me what I asked for. Surprised that the store he mentioned even offered what I asked for, I looked up the website and turns out, it doesn’t offer much in what I know his price range would be. I told him I didn’t want him to spend that much money on me and to talk to his friend about where he recommends we go. It’s been 3 months now since my birthday and all I have is this tshirt.
He’s been depressed and I feel like this is the cause for his lack of effort. His birthday is coming up in a month and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’d love to spoil him but I almost feel like he doesn’t deserve it. I feel like a brat for saying that. The thing is, I feel like I’m constantly putting so much of myself into our relationship and never get much back in return.
What do I do? Am I being over dramatic with my reaction?
Tl;dr; BF who rarely puts in effort got my a tshirt for my first birthday gift (in 3 years since we’ve been together) when I asked for something else that was actually cheaper but more meaningful. He told me he got the tshirt out of guilt because he originally wanted one. I’m upset and wondering if I’m over reacting.
Submitted November 30, 2018 at 07:56AM by drunkmother666 https://ift.tt/2zxo85E
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