Our relationship is a bit complicated: it’s on and off a lot, we’ll get into an argument and he’ll refuse to talk to me until he basically feels like he wants to again. Most recently, he didn’t talk to me for about a month (blocked my number, everything) and I kind of moved on with my life. I felt really heartbroken but decided I should try seeing other people, maybe to distract myself. I wasn’t looking for anything serious.
A few days ago, a blocked number called me a few times. I answered on the third call because I was curious; it was him. He apologized and asked if he could see me, and I agreed.
When he came to see me, we ended up having sex. I feel like he always has to say something to make me feel insecure about my level of experience, yet he always wants to have sex. I’m a very shy person so it takes me being very comfortable and feeling accepted by someone to be more open. It’s not that I’m unwilling to be more adventurous, I just don’t feel like I’m doing anything right with him because he always has to make backhanded comments. For example, when I gave him oral the other night, he said “You don’t always have to be so neat all the time you know.”
Honestly it probably doesn’t seem like a big deal but it makes me feel embarrassed like he’s not enjoying it. The first time we had sex, he basically pushed my head down to his crotch and I started giving him oral and he literally took my head and started moving it around in circles the way he liked it. He could’ve just told me what he prefers? It was our first time having sex, I obviously didn’t know his preferences yet. I felt really annoyed and violated and texted him later that day that I feel like he doesn’t enjoy sex with me because of my level of experience. He reassured me that it wasn’t true and he enjoyed having sex with me, that my level of experience didn’t matter.
He still makes comments though. When I saw him again the other night, he mentioned wanting to rent us an AirBnb to “teach me some new tricks.” He’ll also comment on how small my butt is? Like I already know that. I don’t have a problem with it, I love my body, but I feel like if he has a problem with it he doesn’t have to have sex with me. I’m an attractive girl, I’ll be okay without him. I tell him this and he tells me it’s sexy when I’m mad. But I’m serious about what I said.
I just want to add that I’m not even that inexperienced, I’ve been with a good number of partners and have had my fair share of sex, but I guess he’s just had more.
I spent the night with him again last night and he asked me why I didn’t moan. I was honestly very confused. I do moan during sex, can even be quite loud at times, but of course there are moments of silence/heavy breathing when things aren’t as intense. I thought this was normal? I didn’t know I had to moan constantly during sex. I asked him if he’d like me to fake it and he said I wouldn’t be able to (which was funny in its own way because I have before.)
It’s gotten to the point that when we’re making out in his car or something, I won’t kiss his neck or touch him because I feel like he’s gonna tell me I’m doing something wrong or how I can improve. Am I being too sensitive? I’m just kind of over it at this point.
TL;DR My boyfriend makes backhanded comments about my sexual experience and makes me feel bad. Am I being too sensitive or should I say something?
Submitted November 28, 2018 at 02:55PM by throwaway4865612 https://ift.tt/2E1xOcH
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