Here's my background: I am a 30 year old guy that was previously married. I definitely learned and grew from what should have been clear signs the relationship should never have proceeded and I wound-up a widower in my early-20s. I swore off dating and focused on advancing my education and my career. I've done well for myself and am really proud of what I've accomplished. I work for a major global company and have done really well in my role. I also started dating and have been formally a couple for the last 3 1/2 months. It's been great. I really love every minute we get to spend together and it's just so... uncomplicated. We can hang-out and it isn't stressful or awkward. It's just... fun. So, here's my conundrum.
I volunteered for an unremunerated position within my company that was basically a research team to make improvement recommendations. It was billed as an informal and easy assignment and I was glad to do it. The reality was far, far from the truth. It added 15 hours a week of work and I was already working more than full time. For a few weeks last winter I thought I was going to suffer from exhaustion. The company realized that the 15 of us (from different departments) had gone above and beyond and so the end-of-year strategy meeting needed to be longer - and it was decided that as a thanks, the east coast team would meet in Hawaii. A lot of people were bummed - working in Hawaii, but when we saw the schedule and it's "Breakfast 9:00-10:00 AM. Planning session: 10:00 -Noon. END OF DAY" we realized that we are spending 9-ish days in Hawaii with only 10 hours of actual work. This is basically a free vacation. On one of the days we're being taken to an open bar luau and show.
In the notes it said "Families welcome". My boss approached me and asked if I was bringing someone so I told him my situation and he said "bring her!" They booked a hotel room for me with a large queen bed and I even have a view. I told some close friends (all of whom are married) that I was thinking of asking her to come with me and the reaction was.... not good. They think inviting her would be a HUGE mistake. We've been dating for less than a year (we've known each other much longer, though) and one friend worried about what she may think my expectations are of her (i.e. sex... but we're already doing those things... and we're 30...). They all just felt it was awkward timing. She may feel compelled to go and not want to, or she may think it's too rushed.
My GF knows I am going and said something along the lines of "HAWAII? You're so LUCKY!" She said she's always wanted to go.... but.... My dating track record is about as good as a three-legged greyhound and I don't really know what I'm doing. If I'm being honest, inviting her to Hawaii feels like the right thing. I can afford her ticket and I know she can take the time. My sense is, why is it a problem? But everyone seems to think I'd be contravening some sort of unspoken rules of dating.
Neither of us are young. I'm a widower and she is a divorcee. We're both looking for something serious and long term, I just want to avoid the pitfalls of making easily avoidable relationship mistakes. Personally, I feel like my friends aren't really on the money here, but I'm also no expert. I'd appreciate y'alls opinion.
tl;dr Dating a woman and I have the opportunity to bring her for a "work function" to Hawaii for 9 days. Friends think it's a mistake as we've only been a couple for 3 1/2 months. I don't seem to think it's a big deal but friends have outlined possible problems. Need your advice.
Submitted November 29, 2018 at 08:12AM by GroundbreakingState7 https://ift.tt/2ShTZOM
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