I (18F) had an extremely jealous/possessive (first) boyfriend. It’s rubbed off on me. How do I stop myself from thinking irrationally & jealously? Afraid it will ruin my future

Just using a quick account for advice. In my first and current relationship, my boyfriend was extremely possessive and jealous. For almost the entire first year, he would get extremely mad and insecure at any male interactions. I had a lot of friends in high school, he made me cut them off. He made me feel bad about talking to male family friends or people I grew up with, even teachers. He would get incredibly pissed if I accepted a compliment.

This all caused me a lot of anxiety and resent towards him, despite really caring about him.

Initially, I was very laid back to begin with, didn’t care about anything like female friends or interactions/texting/social media, I wasn’t the jealous type. After dealing with him for months, I began to throw the same fights back in his face. I knew it wasn’t right but I was sick of it. If he was going to leash me, I was going to force him to know what I felt like since he could never understand himself. Since then I’ve felt very ill towards his any interaction with a girl that ain’t necessary. I hate that. I feel like I was normal and had a good mindset and then after he made everything a big deal, I changed.

He’s actually come a long way and his jealous and toned down a lot. He apologized for how he was and just wants to move forward, but apparently I have a grudge. He just decides over time that it was wrong (which it was) but I feel like once he made those things a big deal, they are now a big deal. I didn’t go through that for nothing. But I know that’s the wrong thing to say and I should progress with him.

Even if he was still possessive, regardless, I do NOT want to feel the same. PS. I had a lot of friends in high school, always got attention from guys, was a confident person. I am not insecure, but I feel having to deal with his behavior made me this way.

How to I prevent and stop myself from caring about his little interactions with other girls? How do I move on from the past? And how do I ensure him and I are on the same page?

TLDR; vey possessive boyfriend became less protective and possessive over time. He went from crazy to normal, I’m going normal to crazy. How I do I stop myself from being possessive and accept how little measly interactions with other girls matter?

EDIT: he did want to see therapy, but when the time came I just decided we were so young who was actually going to take us seriously? After that we stopped talking about a month and recently started again.

Submitted November 28, 2018 at 07:56AM by throwaway74837292 https://ift.tt/2KEDppC