Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting here so appreciate any advice!
I have been with my husband (I'm 33 he's 35) for about 6 years now. He is from Europe and we've been back living in the US for 3 years now. I've been working the entire time, and at one point worked full time and had a freelance client. Of the 3 years he's been here, he's worked a total of about 1.5 of that (his English still isn't that great). He quit his first main job he had here because he said the environment was toxic and I was supportive of that. After that it took him a while to find another job which he ended up quitting and 2 more after that. All because they were "shitty" jobs as he puts it. I started to lie to my friends and family because it began to get embarrassing, especially when people would ask why he'd quit without something else lined up.
I've asked him multiple times to study something, go to trade school, anything. I've sent him info, been on school tours with him and he just never follows through and usually just makes excuses why every program wouldn't work. He also never searches anything on his own, no initiative.
I've asked him to join a sports league, go to the gym, quit smoking weed as much, and especially quit playing the Play Station every damn day. He claims he only plays a few hours at night, but there have been times when I get home from work early when he's not expecting me, and I catch him playing and smoking on a Tuesday at 1PM.
He does apply for jobs, he applies for tons but obviously his resume is not very attractive at this point and I doubt he'll ever get a decent job. Every time we have blow out arguments, usually me screaming after I've had it one day, he always says to be patient with him that he's doing what he can, but how much longer can I go on paying for everything and living with an unambitious guy in my apartment? Sometimes he'll drive Uber a few hours here and there, but personally if the situation were reversed, I'd be out there driving 10 hour days to pay for my half of everything and have money left over.
I know that at this point I shouldn't be surprised, but if anyone has any similar stories or advice, would love to hear from you. I know this is most likely a lost cause, but can a guy make a drastic change at the age of 35?
Thanks!
TLDR - Can a relationship of 6 years be salvaged if one partner consistently proves to be lazy and unambitious?
Submitted November 29, 2018 at 12:08AM by SomeBuyer https://ift.tt/2zww5YL
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