I(26M) have always been quiet and it leads people to make wild assumptions about me. Struggling to get over one made by my GF(28F)

I'm on mobile so sorry if the formatting is off.

I've always been a quiet person. Its just part of who I am at this point. It started after intense bullying in middle school that made it difficult to open up and speak my mind for fear of judgment. I've been through therapy and have come to terms with who I am and don't worry much about what others think about me anymore. Despite that, I am still very quiet because that's how I spent my formative years. I'm not very good at starting conversations or keeping them going. If I get put on the spot in conversation my mind will go blank and I struggle to coherently speak under pressure. I have great friends that I feel perfectly comfortable opening up to, but even they will attest that I don't talk much.

My silence has led many people to think I'm weird and to fill in the blanks about who I am and why I'm quiet. Over the years I've been asked if it's because I'm secretly gay, violent, angry, or depressed. I've found out that it has made some people think I am dumb or creepy too. Usually, it's more of a reflection of the people making these assumptions. Openly gay, or people who later came out, were the ones to think I was gay. Depressed people would think I'm also depressed etc... Many people making these assumptions have done it in some sort of attempt to make me open up more, but it has the opposite effect and usually makes me stop associating with them entirely. I don't really feel the need to correct them beyond a "no" and they usually continue thinking whatever they want.

On to my current girlfriend. We've been dating for 5 months and overall its been going well. My silence has become a bit of a sticking point as she takes it as me not being interested in her. She has admitted this is projection from past relationships. I've explained to her why I'm quiet more than anyone else and she now expects that I should talk more and suddenly be adept at conversation overnight. She thinks the only reason I dont is that I either dont want to or have something to hide. Last night it came to a head where she seemed down on our prospects of a future because of how little I speak. She said she wished we could laugh more and have flowing conversations. She then asked if the reason I dont speak is that I'm thinking things I shouldn't be. Among which she asked if I had violent thoughts or thoughts of children. Back to the assumptions people make about my silence being a reflection of them, her father is in jail for being a pedophile.

I'm struggling to process this. I'm upset that she could ask me, or ever think I could be a pedo and I dont know how to move past that. How could I date someone who thought that of me? How could she date someone she had to ask that question? Thats probably the harshest assumption I've ever had leveled at me for my silence and it's making me question if she and I are not compatible beyond reconciliation. She made it seem as though I've never told her anything about myself. It made it feel like we were complete strangers.

I just want opinions on whether one partner being quiet is a fundamental incompatibility. Will she not be able to accept me being silent without further accusations? And how do I get over her thinking such a horrible thing about me? Has anyone else faced anything like this in a relationship?

TL;DR: GF asked if I was a pedo because im quiet. Not sure how to get over it or if we're just incompatible because of how little I speak.

Submitted November 28, 2018 at 11:40AM by IdLikeToGetOffNow https://ift.tt/2KFVtQr