I [28F] let my best friend’s mother [55F] live in my dead father’s apartment for 6 weeks while she waited for access to her new house. She stole from the apartment when she moved out.

My father passed away unexpectedly 2.5 months ago at the age of 58. This is still very much a trauma for me. I am the only child and he was not married, he left everything to me in his will. I inherited a 2 bedroom apartment that I’m not in need of since I already have a place of my own.

My best friend’s mother Nicole has recently come home from living abroad for 6 months. She came home ”early” because she missed her family and grandchild but it basically left her homeless. She’s been couch surfing and living with her sister and daughter (a.k.a my best friend since early childhood, Natalie).

Almost immediately when Nicole heard that my father had died she asked Natalie if she could ask me if the apartment was available to her to crash in for a few months while she fixed her living situation long term. I trust Natalie with my life and I had no reason not to trust Nicole. We all thought it would be a good temporary fix since I wouldn’t be stuck paying dad’s rent and a loan as well as my own rent and bills, and she said I could be there as much as I needed to go through dad’s things and clear the apartment out. She’d just be thankful to have a place to go at night and I wanted to help out. She moved in just shy of 3 weeks after my dad died and promised to be respectful of everything in the apartment. We didn’t sign a rent contract but we said that a 3 month notice (both ways) is standard and would do here as well. I gave her permission to use the things in the kitchen if needed, as well as the washer/dryer/detergent/fabric softener/cleaning products/toilet paper/eat up unopened food items, etc, everything that goes with living in an apartment.

When Nicole had lived there for 5 weeks she sends a text saying she’ll be moving out later that week as she had found and rented a house. She also wanted half the rent back that she had already paid me for the upcoming month. Everyone I asked said that I shouldn't have complied and sent her the rent back but since this is my best friend’s mom I still wanted to help her and I knew she needed the money. She was very grateful.

As soon as I got the keys back and walked through the apartment I noticed that there was less stuff around than usual. My dad liked to keep extras of things he used regularly, like hand and dish soap, detergent, fabric softener, toilet paper, cooking things like olive oil, aluminum foil, parchment paper, plastic bags. All of that stuff was just gone, even though no person possibly could have used it up in 5 weeks. For example, I know for a fact there was three extra rolls of aluminum foil that now aren’t there.

The worst thing was that I also noticed that there was fridge magnets missing. Specifically magnets that I had bought for my dad, round/bead neodymium magnets that he used to make little designs and graphs with. I immediately texted her and asked if she had taken the magnets by accident and got this reply: ”Hi holographicpeaches, yes I took them because (grandson) though they were so fun to play with, and I didn’t think they were very important”.

I answered her ”You can’t just take whatever you like! And it can be really dangerous for little kids to play with magnets, if they swallow them it can cause serious damage. I want them back immediately.” Her reply to that was just ”Hey HP, relax. Yes you shouldn’t take things that aren’t yours.”

I am beyond furious. I feel like Nic violated my trust in the worst kind of way. I trusted her to be respectful in the apartment and not steal things. I am just wondering what else is missing as I have not had the chance to go through everything, and it’s not like I kept inventory either.

I am also aware that I am going though the trauma of losing a parent and that I might be more sensitive than usual. I just want to scream in her face and never ever see or speak to her again, but I think that might be impossible since her daughter is my best friend. We will run into each other on occasion, no doubt. We have not spoken other than the texts and I have not gotten a hold of my friend either. I want to know how I best should handle the situation going forward and if I should "include" my friend or not.

TLDR; My father passed away recently and I let my bff’s mom live in the apartment while she looked for long term housing, as an ”in between places to live”-situation. Upon moving out I discovered she has taken at least one thing (a 50 pack of rounded/circular fridge magnets) as well as kitchen/food items and washing+cleaning supplies that my dad kept extras of. I said she could use whatever she needed but I never said the could take it for herself, nor did she ask me if she could. Everything put together is worth around $75, so not a fortune but it’s the attitude of the action of stealing from my dead father. I am angry at her but as she is the mother of my best friend I will have to see her again on occasion in the future, i.e I don’t want to confront her with guns blazing. What would you do/say to her?

Submitted November 28, 2018 at 07:02PM by holographicpeaches https://ift.tt/2zyDkzt