Ok. Backstory. A friend set us up out of the blue cause we both hadn't gotten laid in forever. We set up strict rules that this was a physical relationship. The L-word was not supposed to be used, ever. My partner, f44, was adamant that she was leaving our part of the country in several months. Hard timeline.
Further backstory, I have adult diagnosis Aspergers syndrome. I never went to counseling, only recently started reading up on it. At the behest of what is now an exgirlfriend who was also gaslighting me. I got out of that relationship before all the cutting off from friends and family was finished. Lesson hard learned. Ironically, the books outlined what was happening, and my susceptibility to it.
Anyway, f44 and myself, our physical relationship progressed, and we are spending tons of time together. Mostly between the sheets. Lots of kissing and hugging outside the bedroom, watching TV shows together, noticing we have completely different taste in what we watch. Mostly, though, we are boinking.
I am having a great time, she is having a great time. I am the first to drop the L-word, mid coitus, about 2 months into our arrangement, which she laughs off at the time, but we had a sit down and worked out that we were just having fun. No strings. Physical relationship continues unabated.
About a month ago, she states she has reservations about her leaving the area. I state that I have had a dream of going abroad for vacation. Alone. With all that entails. My timeline for this takes into account the hard timeline she expressed to me at the beginning, with her having left 2 months before my own departure. I make plain that our current arrangement fits well, and I am not looking for anything more. She agrees about the fit, and we agree about the timeline. Problem solved.
Today. I get a text. She is falling hard. Wants me to declare everlasting love for her. Wants to stay and try to make things work. She hates this part of the country. She would be staying for me, and would resent me for it eventually. I like this part of the country. And have no wish to leave, permanently.
Am I wrong to have a great reservations about trying to work a relationship out from what I don't see as more than physical? I feel ... I don't know what I feel. The aspergers explains a lot about social issues I've had over the decades, but I honestly don't know if I could recognize love if it stepped up and bit me. I just don't have the frame of reference with which to judge.
Tldr: 5 month FWB no notice wants to move full time into a serious relationship. Constraints: aspergers syndrome and a life long planned trip.
Submitted November 28, 2018 at 12:19AM by Trance354 https://ift.tt/2PX0Dgw
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