My (21F) good friend (20F) booked a one way ticket to England and got catfished - now I’m afraid our relationship will be ruined.

This requires some backstory to paint a clear picture so buckle in and bare with me because it’s crazy. I recently moved to England for graduate school, I have a boyfriend (21M) whom I live with in student housing, and we both work full time. My friend Kay is from back home and I consider her family. Kay has never flown internationally before.

Two months ago, Kay called to let me know that she was planning a trip to see this guy she had been talking to on instagram, who she said lived a few hours away from me. She has never spoken to him on the phone, didn’t have his last name, didn’t have him on any other social media, no FaceTime, no Snapchat- couldn’t even tell me exactly where he lived. It was a classic MTV episode complete with stolen pics. My boyfriend and I were concerned but she wouldn’t listen. Then suddenly, she decided to book a one way ticket to the airport near him and made it an official trip. She said she wanted to stay with us for a few days to visit and spend the majority of the trip in a booked AirBnB near him.

Unfortunately, two days before, he disappeared. Poof. Gone. Instagram deleted with no other info to find him. Knowing she couldn’t get a refund and still hoping he would turn up again, she said she still wanted to visit me and travel around. I explained to her that I am working, on a very very tight budget because of important bills, didn’t have much room in my studio flat, and was waiting for final documents from my university to get my visa processed. She said she understood. I made sure we were on the same page with tons of other things as well before she stayed for the week.

She landed 5 days ago, it’s been a true nightmare since. It’s as if I never explained anything to her at all. She’s been inconsiderate, disrespectful, and down right rude. The combination of her being catfished and her being used to getting everything she wants, she’s made it clear she suddenly expected her trip to be a high-end, designer vacation. Complaining about having to take the train, complaining about sleeping on an air mattress... she has told people she’s staying for a month and she assumed she would just stay with me the whole time even though it wasn’t discussed and I didn’t know that was even her plan.

2 days in, I let Kay know that, as originally planned, she really can’t stay with us past this week. Because it’s student housing and no one would be here (my boyfriend would be out of town and I would be traveling to take care of my visa), she’s not even allowed to. I didn’t bring up any grievances, offered to help her find an AirBnB like she planned to stay in before, and told her that I could dial back my work hours to spend some time with her the rest of the week. Since then her poor behavior has escalated... the silent treatment, giving attitude if anybody tries to speak to her, making snide comments, complaining about walking, etc. She said I should prioritize her instead of getting my visa (I’ve explained that everything took so long to process that it’s last minute and I can’t change the appointment dates I’m assigned. This was discussed before she came).

I attempted to talk to her and apologized for upsetting her in anyway, explaining that I wanted to really have a nice time with her the rest of the week. Kay has an Aunt who is letting her stay in her house for free so she has a safe place to stay but still no return ticket because she’s convinced the Catfish isn’t a Catfish and that he’ll turn back up. Despite being hurt, I’ve still gone out of my way to be nice and try to make her feel as welcome as possible because I know what it’s like to be in another country by yourself but she makes it clear nothing is up to her high standards.

I didn’t expect her to behave like this and am actually shocked by how she just doesn’t care, even when she assumed she could stay with me for a month without asking. I know she’s upset about the guy and not being able to stay with me and I’m trying to keep empathy a priority no matter what. She’s leaving on Friday and I don’t exactly know where to go from here... her and her family are such a big part of my life and this has already caused a huge rift just a few days in. I would hate to lose part of my support system but don’t like the way I have been treated. I just don’t know if it’s worth it to be around someone who is so toxic when things don’t go their way. It’s been eye opening -any advice on how I move forward with this? Do I just keep killing her with kindness?

TL;DR! Someone I consider a sister was catfished after booking a one way ticket to see him and she assumed she could stay with me for a month. Her behavior has been hurtful and I don’t know if I can salvage our friendship.

Submitted July 31, 2018 at 06:47PM by BettyDavisEyes14 https://ift.tt/2AuqHbz