My boyfriend [22M] only tries to have sex with me [25F] at night. I'm starting to feel like an object and resent him.

We've been together for three years. I am the only person he's ever been with. We haven't had regular sex for a couple of months and when we do, it's incredibly boring and routine. I'm starting to not feel attracted to him or turned on at all.

I've brought this up a number of times and begged him to try new things. I'm very open minded and love to experiment. I've purchased toys for both of us to use, described to him what turns me on, and asked him to watch porn of couples to discover new ideas. I've taken kink questionnaires and sent him the results. Despite trying to teach him the basics of foreplay, he continues to only initiate sex at the same time, in the same place, and in the same position where I'm on the my side and he's entering from behind. He'll only last for a few seconds and it doesn't feel intimate in the slightest.

Last night, around an hour after we had both went to bed, he asked me if I was still awake. He told me that he couldn't sleep, so he reached over, squirted lube on his fingers, and inserted them inside me. I freaked out and told him I didn't want to have sex, then left the room to calm down. His response to me was that he REALLY needed to have sex. I brought up how he's still trying to do the same things, how he didn't talk to or kiss me at all, and that I don't want to be used when he feels the need to get off. I told him I was disgusted by him and slept on the couch.

I'm struggling to know what to do next. I've read that people suggest giving in and having sex even when you don't want to because it'll feel good once you get into it. I've done that a few times and it makes me feel empty. Same with initiating on my own. I miss being passionate and turned on.

Even if he tries to make an effort now to try new things with me, I can't stop thinking about how bad our sex has gotten. It used to be amazing and the best I had ever experienced. He's very attractive, tall, and works out often. He should be someone who could easily turn me on from looks alone, but it's like he completely gave up trying. I'm not sure how to move past this and see him as a partner again.

Is breaking up my only option? Has anyone recovered from a similar situation?

tldr; Boyfriend is sexually inexperienced and stopped putting in effort to meet my needs during sex. He only initiates at night, in bed, and from behind without foreplay. Last night he tried to force sex with me when I was asleep and I felt violated. Is it possible to repair our lack of passion?

Submitted August 29, 2018 at 10:22AM by mezhgorye https://ift.tt/2wqUIoq