My [F24] husband [M26] stinks and has bad breath. Communication isn't working, what's the next step?

Husband and I have been married for 4 years, together for 6. In the past 6 months, he's been forgetful about putting on deodorant and brushing his teeth. In our relationship, I have had no problems saying "Hey, could you go put some deodorant on?" (He sweats a lot so this is something I've asked for longer than this problem existed).

When I noticed he wasn't keeping up with this hygiene, my first thought was depression. He had been seeing a therapist (still is) and is on antidepressants. Before I brought up the issue of hygiene, I asked about his mental health and related issues over a few days, and unless he was totally lying to me, he isn't actively depressed.

I started with "Did you happen to put on deodorant today? Maybe it's my nose" and "You have some coffee breath, could you go brush your teeth?" I tried not to nag, but it became an every day occurrence, even though I would sometimes wait until he was putting on his shoes for work. I gave up after awhile because he was getting upset with me.

He started a new job a few weeks ago, and I've been back to asking if he could do the things above, and it's clearly annoyed him. I've been more direct this time--"Why don't you brush your teeth with (our 2yo), to help be a good example?" And "Please put on some deodorant." Now, I've been called "Mom" and been told I'm nagging. I've directly said that it's hard to be around him sometimes when he doesn't have deodorant, and I don't want to kiss him when he doesn't brush his teeth. Apparently this is unreasonable, because I get eye rolls and huffing and puffing in reply.

I've told him how I feel and how it is affecting me, and he either doesn't listen, or he drags his feet like a teenager to the bathroom before doing the things above. It's driving me nuts, and I feel like I have to be his mom.

TL;DR : husband doesn't brush teeth or wear deodorant unless reminded, and he's annoyed when I remind him. He doesn't seem to care about how it affects others around him or makes me feel, what's the next step?

Submitted August 29, 2018 at 08:07AM by Jesusfreaknothomeyet https://ift.tt/2BZlnOe