TLDR: I resent my husband from things he has done, and now every single miscommunication is too much for me.
I met him 10 years ago and “dated” online for 5, living together for 5. We got married and had a kid. My family and friends live in another country. When I got here (rural community in the US) he wouldn’t let me do anything because he said I’d break his things (as in not let me do the laundry whileI was doing nothing all day). He didn’t help me find a job, didn’t introduce me to his friends because he says he didn’t have any left after we started dating. I probably had a panic attack when I realized I made a huge mistake leaving work, family and friends to be together.
I adopted a dog so I wouldn’t feel alone. I found a low level job because I was an immigrant and am slowly building my career back. We have a son together, he’s 2.5y. He has a daughter (13y) and she goes to her mom every other weekend. He is going through bankruptcy because he used credit cards irresponsibly all his life. I am glad he is finally solving this problem. I paid 99.99% of medical bills for my child’s birth and thusfar, clothes, toys, books and activities. I am usually the one who teaches our son new things. I don’t feel my husband wants to do any of that, (eg: we have someone coming once a month to give us tips about child development and he chooses to not stay in the room when she’s there).
We have been arguing for years now. This weekend he invited me to go to another town with him but it was during our toddler nap so I couldn’t go. He took his daughter and kept texting me trivial things but failed to mention they were eating out. I took the toddler to swim and when we came back my husband saw me preparing dinner and didn’t say anything. When I offered some for him to try his daughter was shocked and asked if he was hungry. That’s how I found out. I feel neglected because I was tired and he could have brought us takeout.
I resent him from him leaving me by myself at the hospital overnight when I was pregnant to him taking a single afternoon off after I begged him to stay home multiple times because I had a preemie. I resent him for choosing when he wants to act like a family and when he doesn’t. I know it’s a lot to ask from him because it was my choice to move here. I just resent him.
We are going to couple’s therapy but honestly I view it as divorce mediation.
I have pushed him away from a room and touched him aggressively because of all the hatred I feel. I have broken things but I stopped. He’s started breaking things too but nothing in the last couple months.
He’s offered me to be a stay home mom because he thinks I’m stressed from work.
Help anyone?
Submitted August 30, 2018 at 10:13AM by Isitlunchyetimhungry https://ift.tt/2MDchf9
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