My [25f] new colleague [26m] wears the same clothes every single day, and he absolutely REEKS. The smell is so bad that it's distracting me from my studies and my work. No one else seems to notice or care. What do I do?

Just started my first year in a rigorous graduate program in a U.S. university. Everyone in my program has been incredibly warm, encouraging, and welcoming, and I get along really well with everyone in my six-person cohort. Even "John".

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John is actually one of the friendliest people in my cohort. I noticed early on that he wears the same exact outfit every day. Whatever, we all have our quirks. But I noticed within 3 days of spending time around him that he really stinks.

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When he sits next to me (or even across the table from me) in our classes and meetings, I can't concentrate. All I can concentrate on is the smell of his BO traveling into my nose.

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I tried not to think about it too much at first. I had stress sweat last week and probably didn't smell too good either. But over the past week, I'm getting super resentful of him. Like, at least I shower and wear clean clothes every day. And I carry around deodorant when I know I'll be walking around in hot weather. But I digress.

Edit because relevant: I considered that maybe he didn’t have access to clean clothes or a washer or things like that, but he lives in a very nice loft with laundry in building downtown. He gets jokingly frustrated when we can’t go out for food or drinks every single night because we lack the funds. So I don’t know. I can’t accurately judge his financial situation because this is all still very new, but it doesn’t appear to be a situation in which he lacks the resources necessary for basic hygiene. ​

It really seems like no one else has noticed. But that's impossible, right? Like it seeps across a room when he's sitting in it. My friend outside the program, who has a terrible sense of smell, met him last weekend at a party and instantly noticed.

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Late last week, two other colleagues and I were all wearing similar clothes. We joked about having a cohort-matching day, and one of them was like "I wonder if John is also matching ... oh wait, no, we know he's wearing that same outfit." I tried to broach the subject when the other one was like "I wonder if he just has infinite amounts of the same shirts and pants to wear every day," and I was like "...Well, I think he wears the same pair of pants and shirt every day ..." and it felt like they got a bit defensive. They were both like "Well, it must be easy being a guy and being able to wear the same thing every day" or some shit like that, and then they changed the subject.

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I'm just like ???

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Anyways. This is getting to be a serious problem because I can't concentrate when he's around me because the stench is so terrible. I hate getting in elevators with him. I dread when he walks into class and there's an empty seat next to me. And I think another big issue is that I really don't want to feel this disgusted by someone who I'm going to be working with closely for at least the next 5 years.

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I'm considering having a private conversation with one of the older members in the program because I trust her judgement and respect her a lot. But at the same time, I don't want to be the new girl in the program who's creating conflict or making anyone uncomfortable/putting people in awkward positions. But at the same time, why should my education and ability to work be obstructed by the fact that a grown man can't change his sweaty ass clothes? I worked so hard to even be here, and this really shouldn't be the thing I'm worried about all day.

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ALSO omg you guys he walks over a mile from his apartment to our building every day. And he loves to just go take walks outside every day. It's like 90 degrees here, and his outfit of choice is a long-sleeved dark shirt and long pants.

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What should I do??

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TLDR; Started a new grad program, cohort is really cool. One guy wears the same clothes every day, and he smells terrible. Straight up awful. I can't even focus in class or in meetings anymore because of the stench. What do I do?

Submitted August 29, 2018 at 06:36PM by throwawayps00 https://ift.tt/2wwflyx